For the past few months, both my professional and personal life has been growing and expanding at such a fast rate that the rest of my life needs to catch up or at least meet me half way.
See, since I decided a few years ago not to return to my previous career or get another traditional job, I have felt more alive and happier than I have ever been. I am feeling more connected to my life and I’m look forward to this phase of growth and learning and expanding and writing. It’s a good life and I’m excited for the next chapter.
Now with this wonderful feeling of freedom and openness and excitement, I’ve been experiencing something else as well: The feeling of disconnection to other things, most notably some of my friendships. My friends and some of my family do not understand why I would choose to go out into the scary unknown and open a business or try to make money in a non-traditional way. I understand that what I do makes no sense to them and that is ok. It’s not for them to understand because it’s not their life. It’s mine and mine alone.
I read in a bunch of books that as we change and our lives change, the people around us may respond in a variety of different ways. While some are supportive, others may not be as much so what I am feeling is normal, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don’t like to let things go, especially people. Even when they are not good for me or the joy of the friendship is gone, I don’t like to end relationships. I want to hold on and keep people in my life forever because my people are precious to me.
Lately though, I have found myself evaluating some of my friendships and questioning them. Most of them I simply do not feel connected to anymore. It’s like I moved far away, but not in the physical sense. I’ve moved on emotionally and mentally and even on some levels, spiritually. I also know that to move forward in this next phase of my evolution, I will have to end some of these friendships though it pains me to have to do that.
Today I woke up thinking about all the crazy and fun stuff I used to do as a kid during the summer time. Summer was the best with no exceptions because it was a time to try new things, live large and eat heaps of Otterpops while chilling out at the pool.
Amongst those memories are the ones from camp. Summer camp was the best. I remember going to two summer camps every year from the time I was in 5th grade until 8th grade. My favorite was band camp. I know, go ahead and laugh, band camp. Yes, I was (and still am) that variety of nerd and I wear it proudly.
Anyway…some of my best memories of summer come from that camp. From staying in the beehive on bunkbeds in sleeping bags to the cold showers, the shady food and rehearsals all day, it was heaven.
One of the things they would let you do at the camp I went to for a week is try out an instrument different than your own. I loved this and one summer I chose to take up the saxophone. I had no idea how to play it, but I loved the way it sounded and I was eager to learn. From figuring out how to use the hard, rubber mouthpiece and reed to all of the new finger placements, I seriously did my best to figure out how to make lovely tunes and notes like John Coltrane. For a flute and piano player, it was a huge challenge, but I gave it all I got.
After a few days, it was apparent that I should stick to the flute and piano as I never did get the hang of that sax. I sure had fun trying though!
I think we should treat our lives like that. Always trying new things, living large and eating otter pops.
Over the weekend, I started reading a new book by John Gray entitled “How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have.” You might know John Gray from his series of Mars and Venus books which are great whether you are in a romantic relationship or not.
Anyway…this book isn’t about relationships like his other books. It’s about being happy with our lives in the now, wanting and appreciating what we have, and getting what we want in the future. When I first picked up the book having already read most of his other works, this book seemed like a great departure for Gray considering that most of his other writings focus on relationships.
I was intrigued and interested anyway so I decided to read it. Just a few chapters in and I love what he has to say about love. He also has this concept of Love Tanks. Love, he says, is the key to appreciating what you have, be it a job, money, relationship and whatever else you can think of. He categorizes love into different types as well such as love from god or the spirit, love from parents, love from friends, etc…. and for each love type, there is a corresponding love tank that can only be filled by that type of love. When I first read that, I was visualizing it in my head …love type and love tank. I love the concept of a love tank!
So here’s the deal with the love tanks. When a love tank gets empty, you have to fill it up with the type of love it’s labeled with. The other thing about these love tanks is that when one of them is empty or low, that’s when we get frustrated, resentful, sad, angry and/or depressed in our lives. I know that concept is kind of out there, but not really when you think about it. When we are missing the love from Spirit or God, we feel lost and disconnected with everything and may get depressed or feel lost or stuck. When our love tank from our peers is empty, we feel disconnected and feel lonely.
Of course, there is much more that he says about these concepts in the book which I highly recommend reading if you are studying the Law of Attraction or are interested in getting more of what you want and wanting what you got.
Today is one of those amazing beautiful days here in New England. The sun is shining, there aren’t any clouds in the sky and the temperature is just right, not too hot nor too cold. I was looking out one of my windows out towards the little creek that runs behind my house, and I saw a young deer drinking from the stream. It was beautiful. I love days like this because I can open the windows and let the lovely cool breeze flow into the house. It’s a beauty and loved filled day.
I’m working on a new manuscript, putting the finishing touches on it so I can get it out to you, my dear readers. I love writing and this new book, I’ve written it from my heart about something that I am so passionate about. I’m excited to finish it because I am excited to publish it so it can help people.
It’s a funny thing, being a writer. I love being a writer. I never knew how much I loved writing until I made the decision to become. It was a choice and one that I am really glad I made. I’ve always been a writer in my heart, but I never pursued it because I had chosen a particular career path that didn’t support or include being creative or writing.
Now that I’ve left that career behind and since I’ve started practicing the Law of Attraction and made the decision to be a writer, I get to pursue it with relentless fervor, passion and love. I now wake up in the morning with a fire in my heart and a joy for my life that I’ve never had before. I hope that everyone gets to feel that way when they wake up in the morning and set out to do whatever it is they are going to do.
So with that said, my manuscript is calling. I hope you all have a beautiful, passion and love filled day!