Finding Joy

Finding Joy


I know I keep talking about all this cleaning and packing I’m doing because it’s at the forefront of my life right now and takes up a good portion of my day as a result. I kept telling myself that I would stop writing about it, but I just can’t.


And I also said I would take a day off today from the decluttering, but I just couldn’t help myself on that front either.  I’m still cleaning and decluttering.  I think I might be getting addicted to it…. ha ha…


Truth is,  I’m tired of all this sorting and packing, but it has to get done so I’m doing it.


Which brings me to the subject of joy.  Finding joy.  Living with happiness.


Joy and happiness can be found everyday if you just lift your head up and look around.  Seriously, look around.

Did someone smile at you today?

Did you finish a project?

Did you fit into your ‘skinny’ jeans?

Did you find inspiration from someone or a book or a movie?

Did you listen to some music that makes your heart sing and soothes your soul?

What makes you joyful and happy? 


Here’s an exercise that can help you find the joy and happiness in your life even though it may seem like there isn’t any and you are caught in a shit storm of sadness, anger or unhappiness.


Take 5 minutes and write down everything you are thankful for right now.  Look around your house.  Think of your kids or your spouse or lover.  Think about somewhere you’ve been and you were having fun. Think about your job or career.  Think about your friends and your family. Think about your pets.


Let your mind and heart wander for just a moment until you find that thing, anything, that makes you feel good.  Imagine it in your mind and let it flow through your heart and into your body.


Close your eyes if you like and then write these things down somewhere like a journal or a notebook if you like. Do this everyday and you will find your joy, your every day joy.  After a while, it will become a habit.  Sounds crazy, but it’s true.


And if you get to feeling that joy and happiness are missing again, just do this exercise again and again.


Your joy and happiness is there, right within your reach!!! 

And….I want you to find your joy and happiness!


Finding my Joy


Today whilst in the midst of moving, I found a bunch of shoes that I haven’t worn or seen in years. (Yeah, yeah, I am a packrat and I totally and completely love and accept myself)


As I was unpacking them, I felt a sudden sense of joy because shoes, especially these shoes, reminded me of a time when I would get dressed up and go dancing or out somewhere fancy.  I also remember buying the shoes and why I picked out each pair.  Some of them are high heeled and sexy, other ones are casual wedge sandals.  I even found my converse sneakers that I have been searching for since I moved here!


Oh the joy!  It was almost like Christmas finding all of those shoes. I am so thankful and happy that I found those shoes!


Of course, I did pack up some to go to charity because they are out of fashion and I just cannot see myself wearing them again, but still……I feel joy that they are going to a new and better home with someone who will wear them and love them.


So today on my list of things I am thankful for and that bring me joy and make me happy is the box of old and forgotten shoes that I found and will wear again someday, and the shoes that I am gifting to charity so that they might find new homes with people who will wear them and love them as I did once.


What’s do you have to be joyful and happy and grateful for today?


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A Kali Kind of Mood

I’m in a Kali kind of mood today.


I spent part of the morning writing and then I took a break to clean out several more bins and organize them for the big move west at the end of September.  While sorting out a bunch of crap, I found all of these old bills and what not that I have no plan on keeping, but when I found them, I had no idea what to do with them.  Miraculously, my shredder appeared and the party was on!


Shred those fuckers and make your own packing material for your move!


I swear that I heard Kali whispering in my ear at the time.


So who is Kali and why should you care about her?


Well, she’s a Hindu Goddess.  The Goddess of Empowerment, Time, Black night, destruction and creation. She’s Shiva’s lover and consort. Want to learn more about her? Well, let me introduce you to my friend  W.I. Kipedia.  He’s my best friend when I want to learn about shit.


Anyway…Kali is one of those goddesses. Super powerful, strong and not to be fucked with. She also destroys and creates shit.  You gotta love that!!


That’s the kind of mood I am in today.  A total Kali mood that’s both destructive and creative. I also don’t want to be fucked with today. I destroyed my old bills and created packing material for the move.  Somehow, this act has become symbolic for what’s going on right now in my life. I’ve been tearing down my old life here in Massachusetts one box and bin at a time in preparation for a new life that awaits me back in New Mexico.


Do I have it all planned out?


But I have a plan


Now, I swear that Kali is sitting somewhere in her goddess realm completely proud of me for what I’ve been accomplishing the last few weeks.


Before creation there must be destruction.  An ending of the old ways. A clearing out of the past, physical, mental and emotional.


We’ve been taught to fear change when we really shouldn’t.  Change is a good thing.  Sometimes we have to destroy the old to make room for the new.


If you find yourself afraid of change, just sit with it a while.


What is it that you really fear?

Is it the actual change?

Maybe that you fear how people will react to the change you made.

Do you feel that if you change, maybe you will lose some crucial part of who you are? Your identity on some level?


While I’ve been cleaning, I’ve been discovering that part of me was afraid that by giving away things from my past, that I would be dishonoring the memories of the fabulous, albeit somewhat crazy life I have led,  and therefore myself. Like I needed to keep these things around me to remind me who I am, what I’ve done and where I’ve been..


And then I realized that it wasn’t true.


I am still me with or without those things. Still whole, still beautiful, still amazing, still funny and still crazy..


The things are just things.  They are not me…..


Just as your things are not you.  You are you!


And you are fabulous and amazing and wonderful too!


You don’t need things to be who you are or to remember the life you’ve led. You just need you.


So find your Kali and let her help you if you feel afraid of changing your life for the better by destroying the old to let in room for the new!



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Oh The Horror! On Friends and Frenemies

Oh the horror!


I’ve recently just discovered that someone I have known for years has unfriended and blocked me on social media! Of course, this was after I told her a few weeks ago that I don’t consider her a friend and haven’t for a while.


OK what?


Woo hoo….Rejoice and be happy!




Because this person obviously isn’t and hasn’t been much of a friend or part of my life for a long time.


And then I saw what had really happened here.


In the spirit of all of this decluttering and cleaning that I have been doing recently, I have been realizing a few things about some of my past friendships and people I used to consider friends. People that once upon a time, I liked and cared about. People that I used to look up to.


Over the past few years, I have had to walk away from several of them because on my quest to be myself, unfiltered, unapologetic, wonderful and beautiful self, I have found that many of them had not been acting like friends should in my opinion. In fact, I would have to say that many of these so-called friends did not act much like friends at all. They were behaving as frenemies.


You know what I’m talking about.  We’ve all had frenemies of one kind or another.  They are the ones who pretend to be your friends, but really couldn’t give a fucking fuck about you, your life, your business or pretty much anything about you.  They call and connect when it’s convenient.  They will hang up on you accidentally and not call back for weeks. They only talk about themselves and whatever is going on with them.  When you need them or call them, they are like a fart in the wind, gone in an instant.


I, of course, kept trying to keep the friendships with these frenemies going even though I didn’t like many of them.


I know, I know. Sounds crazy, but it’s what I used to do. Hold on for dear life to these people and hope that in the future, they would start acting like the people that I wanted them to be or as they had been in the past.


Dammit! What a waste of my time…..


But that was then, this is now….


My filter is gone, my give-a-fuck meter is broken


And I refuse to settle for frenemies.


So what’s the lesson here?


You can’t change people. You can’t hope and wish and pray that they will change into who you want them to be like. You either accept them as is or move on. I’m choosing move on more and more these days. Call it the Great Culling of Fake Friends and Frenemies.


It’s ok to want to be treated with love and kindness and be surrounded by people who support you and think you are a fabulous.


You don’t have to stay friends with anyone that doesn’t make you feel good or makes you feel bad or treats you badly (this goes for romantic relationships too)


It’s ok to walk away and leave failed friendships behind, either with or without a confrontation. It’s your life and you deserve to be happy and feel good


It’s ok to be a little sad when one of them walks away or you walk away. Just don’t ruminate on it and go find some new friends.


You are wonderful and special and your friends should treat you as such.


Don’t settle for fake friends or frenemies.


You deserve only the best in life and friends!



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Success and Freedom in Life: An Interview with Karen Strunks

I say this all the time because I really mean it, but I love what I do because it brings me in contact with amazing women like the one featured in today’s interview, Karen Strunks.  When I came across her and her blog, I was instantly drawn to both her, her writing, her life story and what she does.  She’s absolutely amazing, successful and nice!  I could gush on and on about her, but I’ll shut up and let her take it away!


karen strunks (1)
Karen Strunks


I’ve been reading your blogs for a while and I’m always amazed by your story. Could you share a little bit about who you are and how you came to be where you are now, doing what you are doing?

I come from a very traditional, aka boring, background of doing 9-5 office work. It sucked the soul out of me and made me very depressed. One day, after 10 years being in the same job, I walked out and decided to take control of my life and that started my pursuit of life of freedom. I began my entrepreneurial career 9 years ago as a dominatrix; an alternative career choice but with hindsight it was not surprising I chose to do empowering work where I was the boss. It was liberating. I had a taste of freedom, doing what I loved and making money on MY terms.


From there I went on to become a professional photographer, which in turn, led me to embracing the world of social media and sharing my experience and expertise in that area. Today I help freedom seekers and entrepreneurs create a life and business exactly on their terms, doing what they love and making the money that they want. No compromise.


It’s been an incredible nine years. There’s been travel, adventure, working with global brands, giving lectures at universities, speaking in front of audiences of 400+ at conferences and receiving global press on tv, radio, newspapers and magazines, all the while following my passions and helping people.


What are the 3 biggest lessons you have learned being an entrepreneur that you wish everyone knew before they started their business?

Follow your own rules, trust your instincts and act on inspiration.


Never, EVER, fear failure.


Success and making money is as much about mindset than it is about taking action. More so in fact.


When I see you photos and read your stuff, I sometimes wonder, does she ever have a bad day? Ha ha….So what do you do when you have an off or bad day? How do you break through that?

Haha! Sure, I do have days that aren’t as brilliant as others, or days when I feel frustrated by having such high ambitions and things aren’t happening fast enough, or just the odd ‘off’ day, but they aren’t that common. I work on my mindset and positivity every single day so I am able to get out of more ‘negative’ moods quite quickly. Besides, if I start moaning about it, I’ll just be entering into victim/martyr mode and spreading that negativity to other people, and where’s the good in that!


If I have something to share of a less negative nature, such this post about a bad relationship, Be Careful Who You Let In When You Are Feeling Weak. I tie it in with a lesson or something inspiring or motivating so it’s of use to the reader and it not just me having a pity party.


From where I stand, you are very very successful. I want to be like you. How do you quantify and celebrate your success?

How I quantify success; can I do what I want, with who I want, when I want, where I want? Can I wear what I want? Can I set my own schedule? Am I following my passions? Am I in complete control of my life and destiny and not answerable to anyone?


If the answer is YES to those questions, I am successful.


The bottom line, before the more material, outward signs of success (though I am VERY money positive and encourage wealth creation) is FREEDOM. That’s what drives me. That’s what success is to me.


I don’t really stop to celebrate! I’m always moving forward. Perhaps I should have some celebrations!


What has been the most rewarding thing for you since launching your own business? What has been the most disappointing thing?

The most rewarding thing is that I have done it, and I am still doing it. They say it’s not the goal that matters but who you become in pursuit of that goal. Never a truer word spoken! It’s been a roller coaster. I’ve been tested. I’ve held on when it’s felt like my world has been crumbling. I’ve withstood what would make most people run back to the ‘safety’ of a job. Would I do it all again. YES. Even the hard times have been rewarding!


Working with people to build their dream business and helping them to change their lives is incredibly rewarding. My clients do the work and I think I get more excited about their success than they do lol.


Disappointing thing… Hmmm. I’m not sure. I don’t tend to focus on the negative. If something doesn’t work out I just move on quickly.


What’s the best advice you have for someone like me who may be struggling a bit, but still shows up everyday and does the work?

If you don’t give up, you cannot fail. Keep taking action in the direction of your goals. Base your decision on where you want to be, not where you are now or your circumstances. On a practical level, offer something awesome for sale every day, reach new audiences, and make sure that you are on track, following your passions, working with people you love hanging out with and having fun!


What is the biggest motivating factor for you in life and business?

Freedom. That’s it.


What is your favorite or best client/customer story?

Oh, it’s hard to pick a favourite! I’ll pick a recent one. In the words of my client…


‘I was thinking about how appreciative I am for your support. You have been a true life changer for me!’


This is from a client who is committed to doing what it takes for as long as it takes. She has incredible tenacity and it’s a privilege to work with her. But that’s what I do, help people change their lives.


How can my readers find you and connect with you?

I’m everywhere! lol.

My blog is here are

Tweet me at @karenstrunks

Watch my business, success, money and life videos on Youtube

Join my FREE facebook group, Rebel Business Bitches, where I hangout every day to help and answer any questions. It’s for women who are sick of the flowers and unicorns in the female entrepreneurship and who mean business!


Is there anything else you’d like to share with my readers?

Yes! I’m giving away a free copy of my amazon book; 8 Secrets To Playing It Big In Life And Business. Download your FREE copy here!

Free book give away

The Great De-Cluttering of 2015

The Great De-Cluttering of 2015 has commenced.

boxes and totes from the great purge

For nearly three weeks now, I have been going through my closets, digging through boxes that have not been opened in three years, sorting and bagging and boxing up things I have collected and held on to for what seems like an eternity in preparation for my move West back to the Land of Enchantment.


Cleaning and organizing is not my favorite thing to do, but so far this time, it’s  been an interesting and cathartic process.


I have found treasures.

I have found things that I don’t remember buying.

I have found things that give me the happiest of memories.

I have found things that evoke unhappy memories.


So that’s how it’s been going…….box by box and tote by tote and closet by closet……picking and sorting….organizing and cleaning…..


Cleaning out this condo in this massive effort has got me thinking about The Law of Attraction, energy and emotions. Everything we touch. Everything we own. Everything we surround ourselves with, we attracted to our life in some way.


And while going through it all, I keep feeling the energies that these things, my things contain.  Everything contains energy, vibrating on different frequencies…


And I brought it here so I claim responsibility for it.  All of it.


all of the clothes

and shoes

and fabric

and yarn

and what-the-fuck junk

and stuff I have no idea how it got here…


I attracted these things into my life with my thoughts, feelings and actions.


So here’s the low down: At some point, I wanted these things. Or maybe I didn’t know what I wanted so the Universe decided to surround me with these things in my home because I was unclear about what I wanted for myself and my life.


Now I am going through it all.  I’m getting very clear about what I want.  I know what I want.  My vision is as clear as the blue sky on a sunny day.


I want to be surrounded by beautiful and new things.

I want things that make me happy.

I want things that I want. Things that I have consciously brought into my life.

I don’t want to be surrounded by things that make me unhappy.

I don’t want things that are linked to unhappy times or people from my past.

I don’t want things that clutter my house and therefore, my mind and heart.


And you should too.


My advice today is to go open a box or closet and clean it out.  Purge from your home and life anything that makes you feel bad or reminds you of an unhappy or sad time.  Donate it to charity, throw it away or sell it on E-bay.


Keep things that make you happy or feel good.  Surround yourself with things that you love and treasure.  You’ll be surprised when the things you’ve let go are gone, how the entire energy of your home will shift and feel lighter and happier.


That’s all I got for today.  I still have more to clean, de-clutter and purge before the big move.



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Happiness Mama! An Interview with Heather Ash

One thing I love about my job (ha ha….it’s too much fun to call a job!) is getting to connect with amazing and wonderful women like the lady featured in today’s interview.  Her name is Heather Ash and she’s the owner and creator of Happiness Mama.   I love love love what she does because I truly believe that the world needs happy mamas cause a happy mama equals happy kids, husband and family!


So let’s here what  Heather has  to say!


Hi Heather! Can you tell me a little bit about Happiness Mama?

Sure! Happiness Mama is my blog, where I write about intentionally creating a happier life. My readers are mamas who want to be the best mothers they can be, while also nurturing themselves and making their happiness a priority. That also helps everyone in the family be happier and sets a great example for their children to take good care of themselves, too. It’s a win-win situation. I also enjoy writing about mindfulness,self care,creativity, habits, and productivity.


Happiness Mama is also the online home of my coaching practice. As a Mama Bliss Coach, I support mindful mamas in three main ways. I help them refocus on their happiness and strengthen the four pillars of mama bliss, which are self care,creativity, values, and simplicity. I also work with creative moms to find clarity around their desires and next steps, create a workable plan,and take action to make their dreams and goals a reality. And I also enjoy working with clients to enhance their time management skills and live more intentionally they can make the most of the precious time they have.


What is your background?

I have a Bachelor’s degree in French and a Masters in Education. I was a high school ESL/English teacher for almost 9 years. Becoming a mother was a transformation experience form in so many ways. I love mothering my two daughters, and I’ve experienced being a stay-at-home-mom, a work outside the home mom, and working part-time from home on my own business, which is what I do now.


What inspired you to create Happiness Mama?

My life changed when I became a mother. I really wanted to stay home with my children in the early years,and I realized I needed a flexible working situation. I thought about what I really wanted to do, and I considered options that involved working from home. I’ve always enjoyed expressing myself through writing,so I started reading and learning about blogging when my second daughter was a newborn.


I have a heart for other women, especially mamas, and I want to share what I’m learning and what I know so I can help others. After much reflection and exploration, I decided to focus on helping other mothers be happier. I’ve always loved reading and learning about personal growth and well being,and I also enjoy supporting and helping moms in various ways, so it’s perfect for me.


When browsing your site, I really love how you’ve blended happiness and mama. Moms in this day and age sure do need more happiness. Can you comment on that?


Yes, I feel like there are several factors at work here. Women in our culture are often isolated and have to make Herculean efforts to spend time with their extended family or friends. Families often live far apart, and friends may be across town, but even that can feel hard when you have a baby or young child. So real connection can be a challenge.


Second, women love their children so much, and since babies take so much of our time and energy, it’s easy to become almost completely focused on their well being. That’s normal, but mamas also need to make sure their own needs are being met. And like everything, it often takes practice to learn how to manage life well with children.


In some ways having subsequent children can be easier than having the first, because you know what to expect to some degree, and you’ve already made the huge transition of going from just being you, to having another human being to be responsible for. I know what it’s like to be completely immersed in taking care of my children, and I know what it’s like to be the primary caregiver for my children.


But I also know that I’m happier when I take time for myself and make sure my needs are being met, and I want that for other mothers, too. It’s definitely a balancing act, and it’s usually not balanced.


Also, often the women are still the primary caregivers, whether they’re staying at home or working outside the home. That’s another challenge.


And another factor is the busy age we live in. Kids are often involved in extracurricular activities, so many screens vy for our attention, and we’re surrounded by so much stuff that it’s hard to slow down and just BE,to just be still and enjoy simple moments. But it’s so important. And it is possible!


Who is your ideal client?

My ideal client is a mother who is smart, internet savvy, and loves to read and learn. She may be feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed out, wanting to find herself again after being so completely immersed in caring for her children.


She is a mindful mama, meaning one who deeply cares about being the best mother she can be, with strongly held beliefs about the parent she wants to be, but she also realizes she needs to make her own happiness a priority, for her own sake and that of her family.


With her children getting a little bit older, she has a little more time for herself, and she is exploring options for her next steps.


She is creative… Perhaps she likes to write or journal, or do photography or art. Or all of the above!…although she hasn’t done as much as she would like since she had kids.


She would like some help with deciding what she really wants to do next in life, and could also use some support in both time management and getting her needs for self care and creative play met.


She would like more stillness in her life, more simplicity, and wants to make sure she is living into her values every day.


She enjoys setting goals and has dreams that she wants to explore more, and help with figuring out a road map to make those dreams come true.


What do you hope your clients get from working with you?

I want them to go from wherever they are now, to being empowered with the knowledge, skills, and support to create their happiest lives. I want them to have the joy of knowing they are truly living into their values. Want them to feel peace and joy.


What is your favorite or best client story?

I love when my clients tell me about the real results they’re getting from our work together. One of my clients is the mother of a toddler, and she balances her time between being a stay-at-home-mom, working part-time as a professor, and freelance writing. In her “spare time” she loves to write her own stories, essays, and poems. Recently she shared that working with me has helped her bring order to her creative process and plans. That made me feel great!


I also love when my clients go from feeling stressed to at peace. I often create customized guided meditations for my clients, and they really enjoy those. Guided meditation has been a new experience for many of them, and I love to hear their response afterwards. They say things like, “Wow! I feel great!” And that makes me happy.


How can my readers find you?

The best place to find me is on my blog at Happiness Mama . I’m also active on Facebook and Twitter.


Do you have anything else you’d like to add and share with my readers?

For mamas who would like to try meditation, I created a free How to Meditate: Quick Guide . One of my passions is helping mamas learn to give themselves the self care they need to thrive, and one of the most beneficial forms of self care is meditation. Even just five minutes a day can help you feel more calm, clear, and in tune with your true self.

At the moment I’m excited to offer totally free, no sales mini coaching sessions to give mamas a taste of what coaching with me is like. Interested mamas can learn more here.


Heather Ash of Happiness Mama

Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys


So here’s what happened to me yesterday.  I’ve been talking to many moving companies because I am sure as shit not driving some big assed truck with five cats and towing my cart 2300 miles.  I am  strong independent woman, but I do have my limits and this is one of them.


Anyway, one of the salesmen I talked to was this really nice guy.  You know how sometimes when you talk to some salesmen it’s like, ugh….get me off the phone like now….but then there are the ones that are so friendly and helpful and you like them (more on that later) so you want to hire them. Well anyway….over a period of a week, I called him with questions about my move.


Now, one of the times I called him, he picked up the phone and had been yelling at someone.  I was really in shock and a bit concerned for the guy.  I wondered who he was yelling at.  Maybe his co-worker  (I’ve actually done that and had a customer hear me so it would not surprise me)  Maybe the dog or the cat.  Maybe the postman.


We chatted briefly and then hung up.  Of course I was wondering what the fuck was going on because I hate to hear when people are yelling, upset or angry.


So the next day he calls me back to apologize for what had happened.  Then he proceeds to tell me all about his wife.  His wife doesn’t trust him because she’s had other men in her past that were not nice to her.  I understand this as well having been in some bad relationships. I tell him that it’s not him she is mad at, but the other men and herself for making bad choices. While on the phone, I listened and prayed for both of them (Hey, pagans can pray!).  I don’t like to hear of anyone being sad or feeling lousy or any of that, so I prayed.


And I figured that was the end of that, or so I thought.  I hadn’t heard from him in over a week and since I haven’t hired my moving company yet, I had no reason to talk to him or any of the other salesmen.


Well it wasn’t the end of it.  Sunday I received a weird text from an unknown number.  I ignored it.  Yesterday I got another text from the same number demanding to know if I am Tobi.  I responded with a yes, who are you?  Now….her response was so-and-so’s wife. “Do you have anything you’d like to tell me?”


My response was “What are you talking about? Nice to meet you!” Now I don’t know this woman or her husband, but obviously she made some sort of odd connection and assumed that I am up to something devious that involves her husband.


Anyway…to make a long story short, when this started to happen, I called him to let him know his wife was texting me and that I did not appreciate it.  Well, they were in the middle of a screaming match when he picked up.  I even offered to talk to her to let her know that I am just a potential customer and that I have no interest in her man.


OYE….was I not prepared for what happened when she picked up.  No shit, this is what she said:


“I don’t know who the fuck you are or what the fuck you are trying to do with my husband, but you better not ever fucking call this number again, ever.  Do you hear me? You better leave my fucking husband alone or I will….”


Then it thankfully cut out.


Now, of course what she said completely freaked me out and I was taken aback a bit, but then it made me realize something.


I am not responsible for her or her feelings.  Whatever is going on with her and her husband, it’s not my business.  I feel bad for her on some level cause I have felt and behaved nearly as she did yesterday, screaming and yelling because she assumes there is something hinky going on with her husband and me. The truth does not matter.


But…really, she is not my problem.


The Polish have a saying. 

“Not my circus, Not my monkeys”


I think that applies beautifully to this situation, don’t you?


I can only control my own behavior and emotions.


So the takeaway from this…

YOU are responsible for you.

Not other people.

Even if you want to be and try to be

Even if they yell at you and you want to fix it.

Even if they are friendly and nice and kind.

You are not responsible for them.

Or their emotions

Or their behavior.

Just you.

and your emotions

and your behaviors.

Have a beautiful day with your own circus and monkeys  😉










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Who Are You Really? by Susaye Rattigan, PhD

I’m surrounded by the most amazing and inspiring women these days.  Since I started asking the Universe for loving, caring, supportive, kick ass, motivated, inspiring  and amazing women to come into my life, the Universe has not let me down.

For example, in Kat Loterzo‘s Asskickery Group over on Facebook, I commented on someone’s post like I do most days. I love commenting on other people’s stuff that inspires me and makes me feel good and happy.  It’s part of my  ‘normal work day’ (I know, I can’t believe it myself.  Social media is part of my ‘work day’!! Yay!)


So my comment inspired Susaye R to write a separate post in response to my post (Damn, social media is amazing!!).  I loved the post that she wrote so much that I am now publishing it here  to share it with you all because it is just that damn good!

Here’s what Susaye wrote:

Who Are You…Really?

By Susaye Rattigan, PhD of She’s Inspired!

Are you really yourself?

The you that you have talked about and told other people about  I find that most of us are not our real selves.


Are  we really capable of any real self because we have become the amalgamation of everything that we think we need to be or that we have heard will bring us success?


Have we have adopted other people’s energies, tastes, likes, dislikes, mannerisms?


I remember growing up, I was told to pick someone I admired and emulate them. Maybe it was me, but I thought that way for too long. I tried to become that other person. I couldn’t appreciate myself because I wasn’t as quite that other person. I wasn’t as extroverted. I couldn’t tolerate as much BS.


I slowly watched as I lost myself. And daily, I see women who are losing themselves because they have become so disconnected from themselves that now they have zero clue who they are.


It’s painful to live from a place of disconnection.


It is discouraging when you feel like all the choices that you have made and have in front of you are not your own.


Women entrepreneurs run smack into this when it’s time to build a business that feels good to them.


They actually have no clue what they like or what their strengths are. What they have to offer or what’s unique about them. What they prefer, what colors, design, flavors, voice speaks for them.


It boils down to not really knowing who they are at their core.


Reconnecting with your core self (what I call the soul of who you are) has significant power.


It opens the door to immense guidance about what to do and how to be in the world to be satisfied.


Being in touch with your soul will help you to manifest those deep dark desires into reality. It’s not just wishful thinking.


Soul living is what entrepreneurs call alignment.


It results in magnetizing people, resources and events to your life for your growth and success.


It opens doors for you in ways that you cannot even begin to imagine.
Beware of the side-effects though, they can be brutal.


Side effects of soul living include:

1. Making your own flipping decision without worrying too much about what others think.

2. Having your own preferences about what feels good to you.

3. Magnetizing people who love you for you.

4. Letting go of BS when you smell it, without all the hand-wringing and waffling that we know so well. (Ed.note: NO MORE BULLSHIT!!)

5. Ideas for creating bombard you and you feel like there are too many things to do and so little time.

6. You actually love who you are and begin to honor that person. What!!

7. Self-care and connection become a part of your vocabulary.

8. Did I say you no longer tolerate BS already Well here it is again.

Soul living is not for everyone. The truth is it is like living life In technicolor. Not everyone can do it. Everyone should, but not everyone can.

To get to the place where you really and truly are in touch with who you are.
You have to decide that the You who you think you are and have been telling other people about is a…fraud.


The real you is in deep hiding and isn’t it time, she comes out in nothing but stilettos to let everyone know she’s arrived? (Ed.Note:  Hell to the YES!!! Let her out!!!)


I think so too.

This is your life.


Live with all your Soul!!

(Ed.Note:  I could not have said it better myself!  Thank you for sharing this with me and for letting me re-post this, Susaye Rattigan!)








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Three Rolls Royce and A Penis! AKA What I Attracted to My Life Today

Three Rolls Royce  and a Penis…

Otherwise known as “What I attracted into my life today”…


I didn’t write that (but damn I wish I did!).   My friend, Karen Strunks, did.  I guess she was out and about in London and at some point during her day there were three Rolls Royce cars and a penis.  I was not there so I can only use my imagination and let it go a little wild, all in my head, mind you.


First thing I did was  I laughed and then realized that holy shit, the Law of Attraction IS definitely working for you, Karen! Ha ha.  I told her that I felt that she should write a blog and use that as the headline cause it sure as shit got my attention.  (I cannot stop laughing at this:  Three Rolls Royce and Penis…if I finish this blog, it will be a miracle)



Like how totally amazing, entertaining, beautiful and shocking.



You have left your house. You are walking to get coffee or to buy groceries.  It’s just another ordinary day in your life.  While you are strolling down the street, you look up and on the road you see three very amazing beautiful luxury Rolls Royce cars.  They slow down, stop at the light and continue on their way. They are beautiful and they take your breath away.  As a result, you imagine that you are not on the street watching the Rolls pull away, but you are in the Rolls that is rumbling down the road.


You think to yourself  “I will have one of those one day …or better.”


After watching the Rolls Royce pass you on the road, you are reminded of your big dream.   Maybe the Rolls Royce in some way represents some part of the big dream you want for you life.   You know the dream.  The one that you never told anyone.  The one that you have kept to yourself for years.


You close your eyes. You feel good, happy, yet you are not driving in the Rolls (not yet anyway). When you finally open your eyes again and start to focus,  your attention is drawn to a guy on the either the same side or the other side of the road.


So now what is it your are seeing?  Your eyes focus and refocus and then you realize in a bit of shock.  You wonder if  your eyes may be deceiving you.  Could it really be?  Maybe you shake your head in disbelief and look away quickly only to look back again because it could not have been…  I mean, really? Finally you accept the truth.


You have just been staring at a strangers penis.  An uninvited penis. In public.


Holy fuck! LOOK away! Snicker, snort, and….to quote Monty Python, “Run away!  Run away!”  ha ha ha…


What a fabulous scene this would make in a movie.




I do not know why the Universe does this to us and honestly, I don’t need to know why.


I cannot imagine for one moment that my friend Karen woke up and said to herself, “I’d really like to attract three Rolls Royce and a Penis into my life today.” Knowing Karen, she was probably just out and about, getting coffee, doing a bit of shopping.. and voila! There they were and could not be ignored.


The Universe does that to us.  It brings things into our lives that maybe we don’t even know that we want. Sometimes it likes to shock us out of comfort and familiarity, forcing us to look.  When this happens, it’s a good time to evaluate our lives and dreams.


No matter how the Universe sends us these messages,  because it does and will without fail, it also totally does what we tell it to, be it consciously or subconsciously.   It’s always listening, creating and guiding us.  We can’t see it or hear it ,but it’s always there, silently nudging us towards our dreams and desires, like the three Rolls Royce and a penis!


For example, when I was writing my e-course, Color Your Dream, every fucking where I went I saw rainbows and color. Fucking rainbows, everywhere.  I saw them in the grocery store.  I saw them when I drove to the grocery store.  When I went online, I saw rainbows.  They were bloody everywhere.  Rainbows.  Splashes of color. I love rainbows so this was awesome, but they were freaking everywhere.  I could not escape the rainbows.


When I first started seeing all of these rainbows, I thought it could be a coincidence.  Freaking rainbows. Every where. Rainbows.


But it wasn’t a coincidence.   The Universe was definitely sending me a very clear message of love and support for what I was working on.


So when we think that something is a coincidence, it’s not.


When something happens to us that we just were not expecting yet maybe deep down we totally did want it (and maybe it was subconscious), it’s not a coincidence.


When we are walking about, and the Universe bringing up the lights a little bit and lets us know that what we want is totally within our reach, it’s not a coincidence.


All day, everyday we are sending out messages to the Universe with our thoughts and emotions.  When we dare to dream and hold those dreams in our minds, we are telling the Universe exactly what we want. The best part of this story is we can have what we want for our lives and we can live the life our dreams.


All we need to do is nurture our dreams and desires.  Coax them out of our minds and hearts and let them take flight.  Just like those Rolls Royce and penis, when we let our dreams out of the shadows and let them have their moment in the sun, we are consciously creating our future.  The kind of futures where we can have everything that we want and we get to live our dreams.


So dare to dream! Pay attention to what the Universe is sending you throughout the day.  It’s messages might not be as blatant as three Rolls Royce and a penis, but it is sending you a message.  🙂  If you open your eyes, you will be sure not to miss it!


And remember, your dreams are never out of reach!


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The Universe Is Always Conspiring

The Universe is always conspiring

to bring us exactly what we want. (even if we don’t know what we want all the time)


Today I had the pleasure of a coaching call with Darleen Pinder of Creating Direction. (Check her out, she is awesome). Now, I hadn’t planned this coaching call. In fact, I’ve been so busy with my business, the move back to New Mexico and other shit that having a coaching call was the furthest thing on my mind this morning. I had just brewed my morning cuppa tea and was sitting down to do my normal morning ritual.


So I was perusing one of my many mastermind business groups like I do some mornings, reading posts, commenting, visiting other people’s blogs (and blog stalking as I am wont to do. I have no shame!) and there was this post in Kat Loterzo‘s Daily Ass Kickery Group (if you are a business owner and you need some ass kicking daily, I highly recommend this group). The post had some pictures of some feet and was linked to a blog and under the post was an invitation to join a group of like-minded business women like myself.


I liked the post so much and the feet I thought, “Hmm…looks like a good group to join.” So I joined! I didn’t even click through to read Daleen’s blog!


Within a few minutes, I was talking to the owner of the group and she invited me to have a free coaching session with her.


I thought, “Hmm…sounds good!”


Neither one of us had planned this.


So what in the hell does any of this have to do with the Universe and the Law of Attraction?


Well, I believe that this morning I was attracting, putting out a vibe to the Universe that attracted Daleen’s group and her post to me. When I said “Yes, I want that” to the Universe, it did what it does. It brought me more: The Coaching Call


At it’s simplest, this is the Universe in action.


The Universe is always churning and conspiring to bring us exactly what we want, even if we don’t consciously know what we want. Our wants or desires sometimes emanate from our subconscious.


Call it Pronoia:  Belief that the Universe is always conspiring to support and help you.  (it’s a real thing!!)


Now about the coaching call. I needed that call today. Don’t ask me how  or why I know I needed it.  Just trust me when I say I needed it.


And the Universe made sure that this morning I crossed paths with Daleen and put that spark in my head that prompted me to ask Daleen if we could do the coaching call today.


So I asked.


And we did the call.


I asked for what I wanted, and the Universe gave it to me…nearly instantaneously too. (this is the power of the Law of Attraction)


Now the call, it was amazing.


I needed to connect with Daleen and hear her message and listen to her guidance. I didn’t know it when I woke up this morning, but it was exactly what I needed at this moment in time.


And why it MAY seem like a minute small thing, a coaching call, it’s not.


Not to me anyway.


You might call it coincidence. Or fate. Or divine providence. Or god….call it whatever makes you happy. That call was meant to happen today. We were brought together by the Universe and I couldn’t be more thankful.


So…I thank the Universe for bringing me Daleen and her wisdom and help even when she asked me questions that made me a bit uncomfortable because I didn’t have an answer. Thank you Daleen for listening to me, helping me and taking a bit of your unplanned time this morning to take the call with me.

I’m glad that the Universe was conspiring this morning and brought us together.  I guess I do have pronoia after all.  🙂









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