I Do Not Control The Universe

No, I do not control the universe!!

*But damn I wish I did!


aka: What I learned from a leaky roof this morning

So this morning I woke up to the lovely sound of rain, pitter patting on the roof and the windows. Rain here in the desert is so rare and delicious and I was very happy to wake up to that sound. Since it’s fall, it was a bit chilly so I made myself a lovely cup of coffee and sat down to get started writing and creating since that’s what I do.


Then I heard it.


Water….dripping, loudly from somewhere in the house.


Drip, drip, drip…….drip….drip, drip…….


I thought maybe I didn’t turn off the faucet in the kitchen or bathroom cause I do that sometimes. (I have no shame!!)


Now the rain was pouring down at this point and the dripping was getting louder.


At first I thought I was imagining that sound, that maybe I was going crazy so I went on a mission. No fucking way was I imagining it! I had to find where the dripping water was coming from!!


Then I found it!


It was dripping down from the ceiling in the middle bedroom!!!


I had another one of my ‘WHAT THE FUCK!!???’ moments. (I have these nearly everyday since I’ve moved back to New Mexico, btw)


So…oh, no…oh yes, oh no….What the fuck!!!???


The truth of the situation then dawned on me like a 2 x 4 to the head: my roof has a leak and of course, I have no ladders with which to climb into the attic and assess the damage.


I could feel my anger rising in my blood.


How and why was this not taken care of and why am I having to deal with it now?


Because I do.


I am here. This is my house and I have to deal with it.


I wanted to scream and yell. Shake my fist at my brother, the rain, the leak, the water dripping from the ceiling…


Then I had this urge to cry and sob because I can’t wave a magic wand and fix it instantly….




I do not control the Universe, therefore, I do not control the weather or the roof or anything really.


BUT I can control how I react. I can, by golly, control that!!


So I made an executive decision that in lieu of climbing in the attic, I would get out ‘Mojlnir’, my trusted hammer and assess the damage and leak from inside the house. I started to hit the ceiling with Mojlnir and tear down what I could of the wet and dripping drywall.  I was thinking that at some point I was going to get hit with a flood of water and dry wall and who knows what else.   Thankfully, that didn’t happen though I did put one hell of a hole in the ceiling.  It turned out that the leak isn’t as bad as I imagined in my head. Most things aren’t as bad as we imagine them in our heads, right?


Putting that huge hole also helped to demo the portion of the ceiling that was 1. already damaged from before and 2. has to be replaced anyway.


The rain stopped shortly after I did my demolition and now I’m making green chile stew for lunch. It’s a beautiful thing!


So what’s the lesson here?


1. We cannot control the Universe
2. We can, however, control how we react to things
3. Things are not usually as bad as they seem



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Can You Feel The Excitement?

Can YOU Feel the Excitement?

So I’ve been home for a few weeks now, dealing with well, what I’ve been dealing with: The house, the family, friends…etc…. and I’ve been slacking in my business a bit.


Today, however, I am kicking it in the ass!


Can you feel the excitement?


Oh I can!


I’m back to creating and it feels sooo damn good!


First thing I’ve created today is a Daily Positive Affirmation list. I love this soo much that I’m going to share it with all of you….for FREE!


Everyday, I’m going to create a Positive Affirmation and email it to any one that wants it!

daily affirmations

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Second thing I am working on is a few new courses. When talking to my tribe, I kept hearing a lot about money. How to make more, how to not hate it, how to increase incomes, etc…..


SO I am in the process of creating a money mindset course. Right now it’s in the infancy stage, but if you’d like to know when it launches AND you’d like to get early bird pricing, send me your email and I’ll send you the deets as soon as they are ready.


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The Third exciting thing on the day is the other course I am brewing up in my brain. I’ve got an idea for a course for empaths, you know, us sensitive souls.


To learn more about the Empath course and find out when it launches plus get early bird pricing on that one, fill out the form below.


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So there it is…..


Super launch Monday. Be sure to fill out all of the forms or just the ones you are interested in!


Yeah….I am having a very ambitious Monday and I love it!


Oh oh oh…this is sooo damn exciting!!


Where is Your Zen?

Has Your Zen Gone Missing?


I’ve just not been feeling the Zen lately. Yeah, I said it. My woo-woo zen happy-go-lucky spirit has left the building.


See, before I moved back to New Mexico, I was feeling the zen. And the woo-woo. My life was calm, happy and I was able to really get into my creative flow pretty much at will everyday and it was awesome.


Then I moved back to New Mexico. Back into the house that I’ve owned for 10 years. Back to the town I grew up in.


Now, moving, yes, it’s a huge change.


But there is more to my story than just moving across the country.


See, my brother had been living in my house for the past 4 years. Whilst he was living here, he decided that in his methamphetamine induced brilliance to ‘redecorate’ eg. destroy what I had already fixed up and/or sell/give away a bunch of my stuff and ruin whatever he got his hands on. He also let many of his so-called friends live here as well they did whatever they wanted to.


So when I arrived back just a few weeks ago, some of his friends were still living in the house or they had left things behind. Basically, I came home to a huge mess of epic proportions. To say I was upset would be an understatement.


And well, being constantly upset and angry like that, it’s somewhat taken my zen. I didn’t sleep well for the first week back in the house because my brother’s friends kept stopping by at all hours of the night and day. I’m not kidding about that. One of them came by at 4 am. He’s lucky I didn’t shoot him.


Also, it’s been very hard to find the zen when I look around and see all of the shit that I have to fix now as a result of my brother. From holes in the walls and doors, broken windows, gouged floors, broken trim and what not, I see these things and it makes me instantly angry. I’d like to kick my brother’s ass to be honest.


So where is the zen in that? There isn’t any zen in that.


Now before I left MA, I had all of these plans in my head for my writing and business, but since getting back, I’ve been struggling to even do a bit of writing because it comes out sooo angry and laced with venom. How dare I call myself a Law of Attraction coach or self-help guru zen writer when I am filled with angry and negative thoughts?


Basically, my writing and creative flow has been diminished since I got back. At this point, I have to change what I am doing so I can get my zen back cause I don’t like living like I have been.


So here’s my plan to get my woo-woo Zen back:


1. Have a Morning routine
2. Daily Meditation
3. Daily Tapping
4. Forgiveness


Have a Morning Routine

All a morning routine is what you do when you first wake up in the morning. It’s important because it sets the tone for the rest of the day. When you get up and do things that you love and are important to you, you feel better and therefore, have a better day overall. I didn’t realize how important and grounding a morning routine had on my life until it wasn’t there anymore as a result of moving.


See, before moving, I’d get up, do some yoga stretches, drink my tea, and get started writing. Since moving back, I haven’t had a morning routine at all cause things have been so fucked up. It’s time to get back to having a morning routine.


Daily Meditation

Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting in lotus position for hours on end. Meditation is just a bit of time that you take out of your day to sit, be calm and breathe. You can use a guided meditation or not. It’s your choice.


Before moving, I was meditating 5 minutes before I would write something creative. It’s time for me to add this back into my life.


Daily Tapping

Tapping is another great way to help calm ourselves down and find our zen. Basically, you tap on meridian points on your face and head while making statements about shit that is bothering you. There are tons of videos on Youtube to help you get started. Brad Yates is my favorite.  Here’s one of his fabulous videos to get your started tapping.


Again, tapping was something that I was doing nearly every day before I moved and needs to get added back to my daily morning routine.



This is a biggy, but is so important. Practicing forgiveness everyday to people who have harmed or hurt us, frees us from negativity and anger. To do this everyday, you just say either outloud or in your mind, “I forgive you” when they pop into your head. With a bit of time, you’ll find your heart is lighter and your zen will return.


I’ve not been doing this at all which is probably why I’ve been so full of resentment and anger lately. It’s time to get rid of that shit once and for all so forgiveness is going to be added to my daily morning practice.


So if you’re not feeling the woo-woo zen like me, try the techniques I’ve listed above. Life is too short to live it in anger and resentment.


Now go find your zen!


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I Fucked Up

Sometimes I need to be bitch slapped.


I fucked up. Like ROYALLY fucked up.


Last weekend, I made an assumption about something and then I wrote something from my heart as a result of that assumption. I asked for advice and well, someone got hurt. Very hurt. I won’t go into the details here, but it was bad and I was reminded all too well of why I shouldn’t act on any assumption.


And that assumption I made…


It was wrong. So bloody wrong.


I should not have reacted like I did.


I feel terrible. Terrible that I could do such a thing, such a simple and seemingly innocuous thing that turns out was a pretty big thing.


I also feel I owe an apology not just to the person I made the assumption about, but one to all of the people that I dragged into it.   There are no excuses for what I did.


Yes, here I am. I have egg on my face. I am sorry.


Sometimes I don’t even realize what an asshole I am being until it is too late. I can apologize, but what’s done is done.


All I can do is apologize, learn from my mistake and make today better than yesterday.


That’s all any of us can do when we fuck up.


Learn from the mistake.

Apologize if it’s appropriate.

Make today better than yesterday

Forgive ourselves.


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Remember to Have Fun

Last night I had the pleasure of spending the evening with someone I have not seen in 4 years. What’s interesting too is that I even tried to cancel going out because I had been running around with my mother all day and felt that maybe going out would be too much. My friend wouldn’t let me back out though and off we went. First to have a beer and listen to a band and second, to another restaurant/bar for taco Tuesday.


So I got myself ready and out we went.


And I had fun.



Now what in the heck does this have to do with anything?




Fun is what life is all about and life should be fun, not miserable and shitty.


So how do you have fun all the time or at least the majority of the time?


Well, you do things that you like to do. Things that make you happy and joyful. It’s individual and personal, having fun, but it’s crucial to living a happy, peaceful and joyful life.


For me, it means getting things done that are important to me like my writing and making people laugh. I also like to read, watch movies and dance. I also like to go out to eat and listen to live music. My list of fun things to do goes on and on.


So here’s my recipe for having more fun in your life.


1. Write Out Your Fun List
2. Do One Fun Thing Everyday
3. Share your happiness with the world
4. Be thankful for fun

Write Out Your Fun List

So simple, so easy and well so fun! Get out a sheet of paper or your journal and write out what you find fun and enjoyable. It doesn’t matter what you write because it’s your list!! Need some help getting started?


Here are some things from my list


Writing 3 pages a day
Listening to music
Going out with friends
Watching a movie
Reading a book
Cooking and baking
Designing clothes and sewing

Do One Fun Thing Everyday

Again, so fun and so easy, find a little bit of time everyday to do something that’s fun for you. Don’t overthink or go overboard with this one, just find 10 or 20 minutes a day to do one of those things from your above list.


I usually take a break nearly everyday to read part of a book or listen to music. Since I started this practice of including fun in my life regularily, I find that my overall happiness has increased which helps buffer me from the stresses of everyday life.

Share your happiness with the world

Don’t bottle up your happiness! Share it with others. Write a blog or status update or call a friend and share your happiness with someone! When you are having fun, take pictures. Make a collage of them and share them somewhere.


I tend to take photos when I’m out having fun and I always share them. If that isn’t your thing, find a wait that suits you to share your happiness.


Be Thankful for Fun

Whenever you’ve experienced a good time, be sure to thank who you are with or god or the universe for it. Expressing gratitude will also help to increase your overall happiness whether it’s to someone or your higher power. It’ll also help to bring more happiness and fun into your life through the Law of Attraction.
Today I am really thankful that my dear friend took me out for a night of fun last night. We didn’t do anything fancy, but it was still a good time. We shared some awesome beer and food and it was just great.


So that’s what I got for you today!

Now go do something fun today!!








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How To Be Fearless

How to Be Fearless


People have been saying to me recently that I must live my life like Xena, warrior princess: Fearless. I mean, who in their right mind packs up five cats and drives them 2300 miles alone across ¾ of a continent? I know, the thought of driving alone cross country for many people is well, crazy and can bring up fear. Believe it or not, it did for me too.  I had fear about the trip, but I didn’t let it consume me.


In our lives, we experience fear, but it begs us to ask the question: Is our fear real? What are we really experiencing or is the fear only in our mind?


I can tell you that when I was still in Boston, packing and planning for my trip, that of course some fearful thoughts would cross my mind. It’s natural to have fear. We are programmed to fear otherwise we would not have survived our caveman days as our ancestors would have all been eaten, right?


So fear..it’s natural to default to it. Sometimes we allow it to consume us and guide our lives because we simply don’t want anything ‘bad’ to happen to us


BUT by letting fear rule, we take the safe road. We don’t take risks or opportunities when they present themselves. We hide and protect ourselves as best we can from something that may or may not happen. We can’t know what the future holds and we rob ourselves from new experiences by letting fear rule.


And who the fuck wants that? Not me! (and not you either)


So how can you be fearless? Here’s what I do


1. Acknowledge your fear
2. Ask if the fear is real
3. Write out ‘worst case’ scenarios
4. Re-write your worst case scenarios into best case scenarios
5. Re-read your best case scenarios


Acknowledge Your Fear

So what is it you are afraid of? Making a fool of yourself? Failing at ‘fill in the blank’. Criticism? Making a mistake? Being mugged or robbed? Dying alone? Whatever it is, write it down.


“I am afraid of ______”


Ask Yourself If This Fear Is Real?

Is it real? I mean, like does someone have a gun to your head and will shoot you if you fail or ? Is the fear real?


Yes or no?


I would say that most likely whatever you are afraid of is not real and is just in your mind.


Write Out Some Worst Case Scenarios

What’s the worst that can happen if your fear comes true?


When I was planning my trip, my worst case scenarios went like this:

The car is going to break down and I’ll be stranded somewhere with the cats. Then the cats will all run away. While I’m chasing the cats, someone will steal my purse, my money and all of my credit cards. Then some guy will chase me and try to rape me. Then I’ll go back to my car and it’ll be stolen too. Or someone will wreck into it and I’ll be alone, on the side of the road with no money, no car, no purse, no cats. My family will freak out and I’ll have no way to get home. I’ll have to sleep on the side of the road like a hobo and then some other hobo will attack me too……


Reading that makes me laugh. How likely is the above scenario? Not very to be honest. Try it for yourself and then re-read your ‘worst case’ scenario. How probable is it?

Re-write Your Worst Case Scenarios into Best Case Scenarios

Look at your worst case scenarios and re-write them into best case scenarios. I always have fun doing this part cause it changes the story into one where I get to be the hero and everything works out. Here’s my worst case scenario from above, changed to a best case scenario:


The car is going to run perfectly for the entire trip. The cats and I will make it to the hotel and will rest every night. None of them will run away. I’ll be able to pack them up and drive and there will be no problems. The people I meet along the way will be helpful and friendly and kind. I will stay in safe hotels and have enough money for each one. I will be safe. My cats will be safe. Everything is going to be ok.

Isn’t that a better story?  Try it!  I swear, it totally works to help dispel any fear you may be experiencing.


Re-Read Your Best Case Story

So once you’ve written out your best case story, feel free to re-read it when you feel that particular fear creeping up on you. In fact, you can even go so far as to visualize it like a movie in your head. A movie in which you are the star and hero.


That’s what I do!


I hope you enjoyed this article and it’s helped you learn to live your life fearlessly 🙂


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How to Handle Huge Life Changes

How to Handle Huge Life Changes


Moving to a new home has a way of putting our lives into such a unique perspective. One that we don’t get to experience very often. When we pack everything we own into boxes and clear out our current living space in order to move to a new home, feelings can come up that we may or may not be used to experiencing.
So how do we deal with these feelings that come up when we are faced with a huge major life change like a move, a marriage, a divorce, a new job….etc?


Allow your emotions to flow
Do something that makes you feel good
Reach out to your support system


Allow your emotions to flow

When your going through a major change in your life, you may start to feel intense emotions that you don’t normally feel like anxiety, fear, happiness, joy or any other emotion. If you are an empath like I am, sometimes these emotions can be extremely overwhelming. The best thing to do with them, however is to just let them flow. Don’t hold them in. If you are feeling very happy and joyful, sing, dance or express that happiness in whatever way suits you. Same goes for the other emotions. If you are sad and need to have a cry, do it. Cry and let yourself be sad for a bit.


Throughout my move back to New Mexico, I allowed myself to feel whatever I was feeling at the time. When I felt sad, I gave myself permission to cry. When I felt happy, I gave myself permission to listen to music and dance.


Do something that makes you feel good

When your life feels out of control and the change you are experiencing is overwhelming, stop what you are doing and go do something that you did before the change that makes you feel good. If you like to knit or crochet, do that. If you like to game, go play a game. If movies and music is your thing, pop on the radio and listen to your favorite music or go watch a movie or tv show that you love. It doesn’t matter what it is that you do as long as it’s something that you enjoy and makes you feel good.


For example, during my move to New Mexico I would listen to music when I was feeling overwhelmed or anxious. Other times I would watch either a movie or tv show that I just love.


Reach Out to Your Support System

Sometimes when we are experiencing huge changes in our lives, we forget that we are not alone and we have people who love and care about us. Reaching out to them via phone or social media can be a huge help to relieving the stress and onslaught of emotions we experience during a huge life change. All it takes is ‘hello, do you have time for a chat?’


When I was driving across the US last week and for my first few days back here in the Que, I made sure I stayed in contact with both my family and friends. Through talking to them, I was able to alleviate a lot of my anxiety and fear about the move which has made the transition so much smoother.


So if you are going through any sort of huge life change, be it a move to a new home/town or any other change, remember this:


Let your emotions flow
Do something that makes you feel good
Reach out to your support system



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It’s Never Too Late to Start Over

It’s never to late to start over.


It’s early again and I’m up at the crack of dawn, drinking some hot tea, doing some laundry and writing. It feels so good to be writing again. So what do I have to say today?


It’s never too late to start over.


As I walk around my home and think about how drastically my life has changed in the past week, I realize that it’s really never too late to start over. You may think that it is in your mind, but it really isn’t.


You can always start over.


If you don’t like your job, you can get another one and start over.

If you don’t like the business you are in, you can close it, open a new one and start over.

If you don’t like where you live, you can pack your things, move somewhere new and start over.

If you don’t like your friends, you can ditch them, make new friends and start over.

If you don’t like the colors of the walls in your home, you can pick out new colors, paint and start over.


You can pretty much start over anything in your life if you are just willing to take that first critical and crucial step, make some changes and start over.


Think about this for a minute. You have one life to live. One. It’s your life and you can choose to live it however you want. If you aren’t happy, then what’s the point? Maybe you need to stop doing what you are doing and start doing the things that make you happy.


Life is to short to spend time doing things that don’t bring you joy and happiness. No matter what is happening in your life right now, you have the choice and the power to change and to start over.


It’s never too late to start over.


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What I Know Right Now

What I Know Right Now


It’s been an interesting couple of weeks in my dream created life. Between moving ¾ away across the United States and reclaiming my house after my meth-head brother’s 4 year tenure of destruction, I swear that I am still waiting to land and figure out what is really going on.


Here’s what I do know right here and right now.


1. Gratitude must be practiced everyday. No exceptions.
2. Humor must also be practiced everyday.
3. Never deny your emotions.
4. Remember that destruction comes before creation.

Last week, I was on my way back to New Mexico from Massachusetts. I drove about 2300 miles alone with 5 cats across 9 states. When I finally got back to my home, I finally faced down what was one of my worst fears in the past few months: my brother had destroyed most of my things and a considerable amount my home, a home that I’ve owned for 10 years as of August of this year. He also had 3-5 people living here and some of their stuff was and is still here even as I sit here writing this at 3 am on Monday morning. I’m living out of a duffle bag and have yet to really settle in yet. I’m getting there though.  Day-by-day, little-by-little, my life back here in New Mexico is starting to stabilize.


I’ve ran through just about every single emotion that exists as a result. Sadness, anger, confusion, happiness, joy….you name an emotion and I’ve experienced it in the past week.


So…..here I am today and I have this to share.


Gratitude. Practice it EVERY DAY!

Throughout this whole experience, I’ve made it a point to find at least 5 things that I am thankful for everyday. Some days, it’s been a challenge, but I’ve done it regardless of what emotion I’ve been feeling at the time. No exceptions.


Humor. Find the Funny.

No matter what the situation, find some shit to laugh at and and again, practice this everyday.


Just as with gratitude, find the funny. Make a joke. Remember to laugh with your whole heart and body cause it feels good. I’ve somehow been able to find a ton of funny shit to laugh at everyday despite the fact that so much of my stuff has either been destroyed, sold or who even knows what happened to it.


Let Your Feelings Flow.

Never ever ever deny what you are feeling. Ever.


Get those emotions out. If you need to be angry for a moment, be angry. Feeling down or sad, feel sad. Cry if you need to. Yell and hit pillows (or demo a bathroom like I did yesterday with my dad) when no one is around if you are feeling angry. Let that shit out, but don’t let it consume you.

Remember that destruction comes before creation.

Before you can let new stuff into your life, there has to be a tearing down of the old stuff, no matter what that means to you. Right now in my life, destruction has become quite literal, but in the best way. I am in the process of tearing down what my brother destroyed to make room for new and better stuff. Yesterday, I had the wonderful pleasure of taking a sledgehammer and a crowbar to one of the bathrooms. I forgot how much I love demolition.


So that’s what I know right now:

Destruction before Creation








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