Boundaries and The Bottom Line

Boundaries and the Bottom Line

(aka:  why I won’t work for free anymore)

 

Recently someone said to me something about boundaries and it got me thinking about them, the kind others have and the ones I have for myself.

 

Boundaries, limits, the proverbial line in the sand. What do you allow?  What is acceptable and what is not acceptable?

 

And this year, I am setting some serious boundaries with myself and my business both as a writer and producer.

 

Why? Because it’s time.

 

As I look over my past, I realize that by not setting boundaries, I have not honored myself. I’ve not appreciated and placed a high enough value on my skills and talents, and by doing so, I have suffered both emotionally and financially.

 

Let me explain. For many years, I would get a job offer and I would just take it, no matter what the pay was or the job. I did not place much value on my skills and abilities so I never asked for much. I was also taught to just take what you can get and just deal with it. “Make do,” as my mother would say. As a result, I ended up working for people who had no respect for me and who treated me as such.

 

In all of those years, I felt used and quite terrible about it.  I never really knew why because I never thought about it much. It all felt really wrong though. I was told to work hard and just do my job so I did just that for years on end.  Another phenomenon that I experienced during that was was regarding the quality of my work. The better my work was, the more work they gave me. Not pay, not respect, just more work.

 

And I get it. I was easy to take advantage of back then because I didn’t know any better.  I thought that maybe this was the way the world worked.

 

Now, a few years ago, I began to experience an awakening of sorts.  Maybe that wasn’t the way the world worked. I started writing full time, I started a business and I left my previous career behind me….

 

Or so I thought.

 

As I stepped into a more creative role and found my tribe, I’ve found such joy and happiness. I can’t imagine not being in this business, doing what I do now, writing and creating cool and amazing stuff cause deep down, it feels right and I love it.

 

What doesn’t feel right at this moment, however, is the fact that I keep allowing people to take advantage of me, my generosity, skills and talent.

 

Yes, I am taking responsibility for allowing it to happen because I am nice and I want to help as many people as I can be successful and live the life of their dreams. I’ve spent hours working on projects for people and not asked for money because I trusted them and believed that they valued me and my work and eventually, they would pay me. I was always afraid to bring up money and ask for money.

 

How very wrong I have been.

 

My time is precious to me. When I spend time working for someone be it as a writer or a producer or director and I don’t get paid, it hurts me…emotionally and financially.  When I think about all of the hours I have spent using my creativity and skills to help someone create or promote or make something awesome, I get angry because had they hired someone else, they would have paid them.

 

So….when I think about hiring someone to do something for me, no matter what it is, I want to pay them because they have spent time and used their skill and talent to help me in some way. I would never expect a plumber or mechanic to work on my house or my car for free.  What makes it ok to not pay someone (aka me) who is creating something for someone else to use to better their life or business?  Creative writing is work and it has value.

 

 

So with that being said, I am not going to work for free anymore. My time is valuable. My skills, abilities and creativity are valuable. I cannot pay my bills with ” thank you’s” and “I appreciate you”.  I am valuable and what I do creatively has value.

 

If you want to hire me, great, however, from this moment forward, do not expect me to work for free.  I will speak up, write a contract and ask to be paid. I am drawing my line in the sand and setting a boundary.

And that’s the bottom line.

 

Have You Found Easy Street?

Easy Street!  Have you heard of Easy Street?  There’s a song from the musical Annie called Easy Street. It’s pretty funny, but it’s not the kind of Easy Street I am talking about.

 

I love a different kind of Easy Street.  I do. That’s not to say that I don’t like challenges cause I like those too, but not everything has to be hard. Difficult. Insurmountable, does it?

 

So why am I bringing this up today.  Easy Street.

 

Well, it’s because I was having a conversation with my mom a few days ago and she started to talk about working hard. How she and my father have worked hard their whole lives. Then she started to talk about how hard is it to have a successful business and how hard it is to make money.

 

Anyone else ever hear these sentiments from well-meaning family or friends?

 

“Making money is hard”

“Life is hard.”

“You have to sacrifice your happiness and joy to get anywhere in life”

 

I really have an issue with these statements because I used to agree with them. I was brought up to believe that life had to be hard and a constant struggle. I worked myself to craziness and well, it wasn’t much fun.

 

What changed?

 

Me. My mindset.

I changed my mindset.

So how does that work?

 

Well, by changing our mindset and choosing ease over difficulty. By choosing to change those statements and forming our own new ones that reflect our change in mindset.

For example

Life is hard, becomes Life is easy.

Making money is hard, becomes Making money is easy.

 

It’s such a simple shift, but it makes all the difference in the world.

 

When I learned this lesson, I swear that things really did become easy.

 

I found Easy Street.

 

When I needed to finish a project, it was easy and I finished it quicker than I could have imagined.

 

Like just this week, I was working on a proposal for a PSA. Now in the past, I would have thought “OMG, this is soooo hard. How can I finish this in less than a week? I’m not going to finish.”

 

I didn’t tell myself that this time though. When I started to write both the script and the proposal, I said “This is going to be a piece of cake. Writing this proposal is going to be easy and I will finish it way before the deadline.”

 

And guess what happened!

 

I did finish it, 2 days before the proposal was due (and it’s damn good if I do say so myself)!

 

Do YOU want to live on Easy Street?

xoxox

Tobi

P.S. I’m having a HUGE sale on my e-courses right now.  2-for-1!  Get both awesome courses for $25.00. You don’t want to miss out because when I take them off the website, I might not re-release them.

Changing Direction

Changing Direction

Well, it’s time to change direction here at A Dream Created Life.

 

Let me tell you why.

 

So it’s early here and I’m looking at my website and the e-courses I wrote and have for sale right now. Now don’t get me wrong, I love this site and I’m so proud and happy with what I was working on back then like a year ago.

 

But that was then, this is now.

 

Anyway, I wrote and sold those two courses over a year ago.  They’re good and I’m proud of them, but I want to change direction with the kinds of courses I want to write and share with the world.

 

So with that said, I’m going to offer a sell off of these jam packed really awesome courses in the next couple of weeks.  Basically, you can get all of my old courses “Break the Bank” and “What Are You Worth” for one price. Think of it as a two for one special!

 

Two for One!

 

Each course is valued at $30.00  a piece, but you will be able to get BOTH courses for $25.00.

 

Want to learn more about the courses, head on over to their pages following the links above.

 

Then I’ll be pulling them off the website until maybe in the future I re-release them..or not. Who knows.

 

Why am I doing this?

 

Because I am. I have other things I want to create and share with the world.  Other better and more improved courses.  I loved those courses, but I have others in my head that I’d like to write and share.

 

Now, with that being said, to get the special one time only sale price on these fabulous courses, please sign up below for my mailing list cause that’s where I’m going  to announce the sale.

 

And on that note, everyone have a fabulous day!

xoxox

 

 

 






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Happy New Year! What do you want?

Happy New Year!

Well, we did it, folks! One more year around the sun and we’re all still here!  Happy New Year!! Woo hoo!  Give yourself a pat on the back and get ready for another whirlwind of a ride!  2017 is going to be awesome!  Hell, it already is!

Yay for 2017!

This morning, the love of my life, Renee, wrote in his blog about what he wants in 2017. It was so good that it inspired me to write this blog  and share what it is that I want in 2017.

Now earlier this morning I got out a brand new journal that I’ve been saving for some reason and started my master list of dreams and desires. Yep, it’s a new year, time for a new journal and a new list.

New Year, New Journal

A few years ago, I started to write down what I want everyday and amazingly, most of the things I’ve been putting down in these journals have been coming true.  Yea, it’s a pretty cool thing when you start to manifest what you want. I love that about the Law of Attraction!

Anywho…..what is on my master list for 2017.  What do I want to do?  Who do I want to become?  What do I want to have?  Pretty much everything I want goes into that journal.  Everyday.  Sometimes the list changes a bit, but it’s always there. It’s one of the things I do in my Law of Attraction practice.

So What Do I Want in 2017?

  1. Sell a full length feature screenplay
  2. Write, direct and produce at least 3 short films
  3. Get said films into at least 3 film festivals
  4. Get hired to write for a TV show as a staff writer
  5. Be healthier (and back to my fighting weight)
  6. Finish the house (even the kitchen)
  7. Laugh everyday and make others laugh as well
  8. Travel to the UK and Australia and ?
  9. Fly first class
  10. Pay off all debts
  11. Help as many people as I can live the life of their dreams
  12. Write at least 3 more books and publish them
  13. Get a publishing deal
  14. Launch another podcast
  15. Get into the Screen Actor’s Guild and Producer’s Guild of America
  16. Skydive at least once
  17. Spend everyday in creative flow
  18. Start riding a motorcycle
  19. Get on the stage and do stand up comedy
  20. Live my life to the absolute fullest!

So there you have it. 20 of the things I want to do, be and have in 2017.  I am excited and happy to check off as many of them as I can!  Woo hoo! It’s going to be fun for sure!

So what do you want in the new year?  What’s on your list?

xoxox