I’ve been up since 3 AM. Yep, you read that right. Three O’fucking clock in the morning.
I didn’t go back to sleep cause I couldn’t. I had to start working.
Writing, building, editing, creating… It’s taken over my brain and my life.
I have big plans for this ecourse, Color Your Dream. And right now I’m in action, getting all the happy parts and activities written so that you, my dear reader, can join me on this crazy happy fun and color filled journey.
It’s so much fun, but I needed a break to get something off of my chest.
Launching this course is BIG deal to me. A really big deal. And there it is. This ecourse means a lot to me. I want people to like it. I want them to like me. I want to share it with as many people as I can and to help as many people as I can. Writing it up has been a joy and a pleasure and I cannot remember the last time I ever gave myself so completely and worked so ‘hard’ at something. I’m having the time of my life, all wrapped up creating it and I’m having a good time….
And then it strikes me.
It sneaks in like a thief in the night.
I feel it creep into my solar plexus. My shoulders tighten up. My stomach grumbles.
My big fears start to creep in and decide to throw a party when I’m not looking. Fuckers didn’t even invite me! Hrrmmph……
I have to silence them before they get out of control.
So the ‘what if’s’ they show up first to the party and flood my brain with thoughts like….
What if people don’t like me? What if they don’t like my website? What if they don’t like my ecourse? What if they don’t buy it? What if….what if…what if?
and then the ‘I should’s’ take over. They piss me off with thoughts like..
I should probably change the course. I should write more, edit more, make it fancier, make it more complicated. Maybe I should wait and do more research and … Maybe I should just give up cause this is silly and stupid and…..
REALLY? What a load of shit!!!
Finally, the OMG’s, the late arrivals to the party. They are the worst of the party crashers!
OMG, what in the fuck am I doing? OMG, have I lost my mind? OMG, do I even know what the hell it is that I am doing? OMG, how do I do this? OMG, I haven’t a damn clue what I am doing.
SO…it’s time to deal with these guys, these fears. I’m crashing their party, calling the cops and kicking them out.
Now, it’s normal to have fear. It’s ok to have fear. It’s not ok though, to let them control your life and stop you dead in your tracks. (and throw a party and not invite you!! ha ha)
I’m digging in my toolbox and starting with EFT (emotional freedom techniques) and tapping.
Next thing out of the toolbox will be a short meditation to quiet my mind.
And last, I will do some yoga later….and that will be that!