How to Handle Your Runaway Emotions

Have you ever had your emotions runaway from you?  One day, everything is fine and you’re feeling great and then boom!  Suddenly its like WTF just happened? Now I feel ….ugh….

Seriously, WTF just happened?

Here’s the deal: When something upsets us and if you’re like me and you’ve been practicing the Law of Attraction, it’s very easy to want to try to shove or banish those types of emotions away. You can’t though and let me explain why.

So the past few weeks have been a gentle reminder for me to feel all my emotions. Usually I feel good about everything in my life and I run around in a state of joy and happiness no matter what the situation.

Last week was not the case. My boyfriend and I found ourselves in a situation which was completely out of our control. See, normally money just magically appears in his bank account at the end of his pay period. It’s been like that for months and well, that’s what happens.

Well he switched jobs and the new one didn’t offer direct deposit, but rather a pay card where his money would be on payday. Now we didn’t think anything about this at all at the time because we assumed (don’t make assumptions) it would be easy for him to transfer the funds to his bank account on payday.

Boy were we wrong. Turns out transferring money or even getting the money off the card ended up being a veritable nightmare. I won’t go into details here, but it was bad.  Really terrible.

Some things are out of our control

Now, during this whole event, I started to feel really angry not just at the company who was holding his money hostage, but the company he works for.  One day last week I was so nauseous that I couldn’t even eat. Another day I had a migraine.

I sometimes have a really hard time expressing how I feel when I’m angry or upset. I don’t like to bring down anyone by sharing these emotions with anyone. As a result of holding back,  I was starting to manifest physical symptoms that were bringing me to my knees.

It wasn’t until earlier this week I realized what was going on and decided to do something about it.

So here’s the deal when you have low vibrating emotions such as anger, fear, and frustration,(aka the runaways.)

How to Handle Your Runaway Emotions

Feel Them!

Shake your fists, cry, or talk to someone such as a friend.  Don’t stuff them away and try to be happy when you’re clearly not!

Express them!

Find a way to express your emotions in a way which isn’t destructive or harmful to yourself or others. Write them down or write a letter to the thing that’s really upset you.  Sometimes I  sit down and write out everything that’s pissed me off about the situation or I write a letter to it. Then I burn the letter.

Meditate

Yeah, the less woo-woo guru is advocating meditation, but it’s not what you think. If you can take one minute during any sort of emotional episode and reconnect with yourself by just sitting down, closing you eyes and breathing deeply for about a minute, you’ll amazingly feel better.

Know That They Will Pass.

Our feelings are like the tide in a constant state of ebb and flow. Be patient and let them do just that, flow through you like a river. I always find this concept very comforting to me .

Find Five Good Things

Look around in your environment or life and find five good things, right now no matter what you are feeling. If you can do that, you’ll instantly raise your vibration and possibly feel better.

Note:

Of all the things on the list, finding five good things is my fave. I love it so much that I’ve written an upcoming book about it because it has single-handedly changed my life so much.  If you’d like to learn more about the book and get a free copy when it comes out, SIGN UP BELOW for my mailing list.

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Where is Your Zen?

Has Your Zen Gone Missing?

 

I’ve just not been feeling the Zen lately. Yeah, I said it. My woo-woo zen happy-go-lucky spirit has left the building.

 

See, before I moved back to New Mexico, I was feeling the zen. And the woo-woo. My life was calm, happy and I was able to really get into my creative flow pretty much at will everyday and it was awesome.

 

Then I moved back to New Mexico. Back into the house that I’ve owned for 10 years. Back to the town I grew up in.

 

Now, moving, yes, it’s a huge change.

 

But there is more to my story than just moving across the country.

 

See, my brother had been living in my house for the past 4 years. Whilst he was living here, he decided that in his methamphetamine induced brilliance to ‘redecorate’ eg. destroy what I had already fixed up and/or sell/give away a bunch of my stuff and ruin whatever he got his hands on. He also let many of his so-called friends live here as well they did whatever they wanted to.

 

So when I arrived back just a few weeks ago, some of his friends were still living in the house or they had left things behind. Basically, I came home to a huge mess of epic proportions. To say I was upset would be an understatement.

 

And well, being constantly upset and angry like that, it’s somewhat taken my zen. I didn’t sleep well for the first week back in the house because my brother’s friends kept stopping by at all hours of the night and day. I’m not kidding about that. One of them came by at 4 am. He’s lucky I didn’t shoot him.

 

Also, it’s been very hard to find the zen when I look around and see all of the shit that I have to fix now as a result of my brother. From holes in the walls and doors, broken windows, gouged floors, broken trim and what not, I see these things and it makes me instantly angry. I’d like to kick my brother’s ass to be honest.

 

So where is the zen in that? There isn’t any zen in that.

 

Now before I left MA, I had all of these plans in my head for my writing and business, but since getting back, I’ve been struggling to even do a bit of writing because it comes out sooo angry and laced with venom. How dare I call myself a Law of Attraction coach or self-help guru zen writer when I am filled with angry and negative thoughts?

 

Basically, my writing and creative flow has been diminished since I got back. At this point, I have to change what I am doing so I can get my zen back cause I don’t like living like I have been.

 

So here’s my plan to get my woo-woo Zen back:

 

1. Have a Morning routine
2. Daily Meditation
3. Daily Tapping
4. Forgiveness

 

Have a Morning Routine

All a morning routine is what you do when you first wake up in the morning. It’s important because it sets the tone for the rest of the day. When you get up and do things that you love and are important to you, you feel better and therefore, have a better day overall. I didn’t realize how important and grounding a morning routine had on my life until it wasn’t there anymore as a result of moving.

 

See, before moving, I’d get up, do some yoga stretches, drink my tea, and get started writing. Since moving back, I haven’t had a morning routine at all cause things have been so fucked up. It’s time to get back to having a morning routine.

 

Daily Meditation

Meditation doesn’t have to be sitting in lotus position for hours on end. Meditation is just a bit of time that you take out of your day to sit, be calm and breathe. You can use a guided meditation or not. It’s your choice.

 

Before moving, I was meditating 5 minutes before I would write something creative. It’s time for me to add this back into my life.

 

Daily Tapping

Tapping is another great way to help calm ourselves down and find our zen. Basically, you tap on meridian points on your face and head while making statements about shit that is bothering you. There are tons of videos on Youtube to help you get started. Brad Yates is my favorite.  Here’s one of his fabulous videos to get your started tapping.

 

Again, tapping was something that I was doing nearly every day before I moved and needs to get added back to my daily morning routine.

 

Forgiveness

This is a biggy, but is so important. Practicing forgiveness everyday to people who have harmed or hurt us, frees us from negativity and anger. To do this everyday, you just say either outloud or in your mind, “I forgive you” when they pop into your head. With a bit of time, you’ll find your heart is lighter and your zen will return.

 

I’ve not been doing this at all which is probably why I’ve been so full of resentment and anger lately. It’s time to get rid of that shit once and for all so forgiveness is going to be added to my daily morning practice.

 

So if you’re not feeling the woo-woo zen like me, try the techniques I’ve listed above. Life is too short to live it in anger and resentment.

 

Now go find your zen!

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How To Be Fearless

How to Be Fearless

 

People have been saying to me recently that I must live my life like Xena, warrior princess: Fearless. I mean, who in their right mind packs up five cats and drives them 2300 miles alone across ¾ of a continent? I know, the thought of driving alone cross country for many people is well, crazy and can bring up fear. Believe it or not, it did for me too.  I had fear about the trip, but I didn’t let it consume me.

 

In our lives, we experience fear, but it begs us to ask the question: Is our fear real? What are we really experiencing or is the fear only in our mind?

 

I can tell you that when I was still in Boston, packing and planning for my trip, that of course some fearful thoughts would cross my mind. It’s natural to have fear. We are programmed to fear otherwise we would not have survived our caveman days as our ancestors would have all been eaten, right?

 

So fear..it’s natural to default to it. Sometimes we allow it to consume us and guide our lives because we simply don’t want anything ‘bad’ to happen to us

 

BUT by letting fear rule, we take the safe road. We don’t take risks or opportunities when they present themselves. We hide and protect ourselves as best we can from something that may or may not happen. We can’t know what the future holds and we rob ourselves from new experiences by letting fear rule.

 

And who the fuck wants that? Not me! (and not you either)

 

So how can you be fearless? Here’s what I do

 

1. Acknowledge your fear
2. Ask if the fear is real
3. Write out ‘worst case’ scenarios
4. Re-write your worst case scenarios into best case scenarios
5. Re-read your best case scenarios

 

Acknowledge Your Fear

So what is it you are afraid of? Making a fool of yourself? Failing at ‘fill in the blank’. Criticism? Making a mistake? Being mugged or robbed? Dying alone? Whatever it is, write it down.

 

“I am afraid of ______”

 

Ask Yourself If This Fear Is Real?

Is it real? I mean, like does someone have a gun to your head and will shoot you if you fail or ? Is the fear real?

 

Yes or no?

 

I would say that most likely whatever you are afraid of is not real and is just in your mind.

 

Write Out Some Worst Case Scenarios

What’s the worst that can happen if your fear comes true?

 

When I was planning my trip, my worst case scenarios went like this:

The car is going to break down and I’ll be stranded somewhere with the cats. Then the cats will all run away. While I’m chasing the cats, someone will steal my purse, my money and all of my credit cards. Then some guy will chase me and try to rape me. Then I’ll go back to my car and it’ll be stolen too. Or someone will wreck into it and I’ll be alone, on the side of the road with no money, no car, no purse, no cats. My family will freak out and I’ll have no way to get home. I’ll have to sleep on the side of the road like a hobo and then some other hobo will attack me too……

 

Reading that makes me laugh. How likely is the above scenario? Not very to be honest. Try it for yourself and then re-read your ‘worst case’ scenario. How probable is it?

Re-write Your Worst Case Scenarios into Best Case Scenarios

Look at your worst case scenarios and re-write them into best case scenarios. I always have fun doing this part cause it changes the story into one where I get to be the hero and everything works out. Here’s my worst case scenario from above, changed to a best case scenario:

 

The car is going to run perfectly for the entire trip. The cats and I will make it to the hotel and will rest every night. None of them will run away. I’ll be able to pack them up and drive and there will be no problems. The people I meet along the way will be helpful and friendly and kind. I will stay in safe hotels and have enough money for each one. I will be safe. My cats will be safe. Everything is going to be ok.

Isn’t that a better story?  Try it!  I swear, it totally works to help dispel any fear you may be experiencing.

 

Re-Read Your Best Case Story

So once you’ve written out your best case story, feel free to re-read it when you feel that particular fear creeping up on you. In fact, you can even go so far as to visualize it like a movie in your head. A movie in which you are the star and hero.

 

That’s what I do!

 

I hope you enjoyed this article and it’s helped you learn to live your life fearlessly 🙂

 

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What I Know Right Now

What I Know Right Now

 

It’s been an interesting couple of weeks in my dream created life. Between moving ¾ away across the United States and reclaiming my house after my meth-head brother’s 4 year tenure of destruction, I swear that I am still waiting to land and figure out what is really going on.

 

Here’s what I do know right here and right now.

 

1. Gratitude must be practiced everyday. No exceptions.
2. Humor must also be practiced everyday.
3. Never deny your emotions.
4. Remember that destruction comes before creation.

Last week, I was on my way back to New Mexico from Massachusetts. I drove about 2300 miles alone with 5 cats across 9 states. When I finally got back to my home, I finally faced down what was one of my worst fears in the past few months: my brother had destroyed most of my things and a considerable amount my home, a home that I’ve owned for 10 years as of August of this year. He also had 3-5 people living here and some of their stuff was and is still here even as I sit here writing this at 3 am on Monday morning. I’m living out of a duffle bag and have yet to really settle in yet. I’m getting there though.  Day-by-day, little-by-little, my life back here in New Mexico is starting to stabilize.

 

I’ve ran through just about every single emotion that exists as a result. Sadness, anger, confusion, happiness, joy….you name an emotion and I’ve experienced it in the past week.

 

So…..here I am today and I have this to share.

 

Gratitude. Practice it EVERY DAY!

Throughout this whole experience, I’ve made it a point to find at least 5 things that I am thankful for everyday. Some days, it’s been a challenge, but I’ve done it regardless of what emotion I’ve been feeling at the time. No exceptions.

 

Humor. Find the Funny.

No matter what the situation, find some shit to laugh at and and again, practice this everyday.

 

Just as with gratitude, find the funny. Make a joke. Remember to laugh with your whole heart and body cause it feels good. I’ve somehow been able to find a ton of funny shit to laugh at everyday despite the fact that so much of my stuff has either been destroyed, sold or who even knows what happened to it.

 

Let Your Feelings Flow.

Never ever ever deny what you are feeling. Ever.

 

Get those emotions out. If you need to be angry for a moment, be angry. Feeling down or sad, feel sad. Cry if you need to. Yell and hit pillows (or demo a bathroom like I did yesterday with my dad) when no one is around if you are feeling angry. Let that shit out, but don’t let it consume you.

Remember that destruction comes before creation.

Before you can let new stuff into your life, there has to be a tearing down of the old stuff, no matter what that means to you. Right now in my life, destruction has become quite literal, but in the best way. I am in the process of tearing down what my brother destroyed to make room for new and better stuff. Yesterday, I had the wonderful pleasure of taking a sledgehammer and a crowbar to one of the bathrooms. I forgot how much I love demolition.

 

So that’s what I know right now:

Gratitude
Humor
Emotions
Destruction before Creation

XOXO

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What’s Your Thing?

What’s Your Thing?

 

Yesterday I posted this on my Facebook profile:

 

Anyone out there have a ‘thing’…..something that you would NEVER tell or show anyone ever!

We all have our things. One of my most favorite things is my helmet.

I own a costume Viking helmet. Sometimes I like to put it on my head and dance around my living room while listening to 80’s music. It makes me feel good.

Do have a ‘thing’ that you own that makes you feel good or something that you do when no one is watching?

 

I didn’t think anyone noticed it as Facebook is so weird with their algorithm that only lets your posts been seen by people who have danced naked in the moonlight and scraped the lichens off the trees at the stroke of midnight during a rain storm or some other thing as far as I know.

 

Anyway..people did notice it.  One of my dear friends asked me if I were going to write a blog about it, so here I am, writing about my viking helmet and other various things that I many people don’t know about me or that I have not been comfortable in the past sharing.  Today is a new day though….:)

 

First there is the viking helmet.  Yes, I own a viking helmet and I like to wear it when I am feeling bad because it somehow makes me feel better.  More powerful even. Don’t ask me why it makes me feel better as I don’t really even know.  It just does.  I also like to wear it when I dance around my living room after I’ve been sitting too long at my desk working.

 

I also own a collection of hats that I have been known to wear to parties or on holidays.  Some of my favorite ones are a velvet joker’s hat, a non-traditional springy Santa hat, a turkey hat and an octopus hat.  I love my silly hats!

 

I really hate bras.  Like hate them.  In fact, usually the only time I wear a bra is if I am going out in public.  Otherwise, my girls are free.  It’s a beautiful thing.

 

I currently weigh 248 pounds!  Yikes!  I’m on 5’2″ so that makes me morbidly obese according to the BMI chart. I’m not happy with my weight so I guess it’s time I do something about that, huh?  Here’s my thoughts about being overweight: my weight and fat does not make me a horrible person.  It just means that I have more fat on my body than others.  I am still beautiful and awesome, just a little bigger.

 

I’ve had 32 jobs in my life time and I’m only 42.  Yep, you read that right.  32 jobs.  I’ve been fired formally from 4 of them.  Most of them I have quit.  Here’s a summary of my favorite ones:  Retail manager, Microbiologist, Dominatrix, International Sales Manager, Business owner, Writer, Actor.

 

I don’t believe in the status quo and believe that people should question authority and act with ethics and morals even though it might not be what other people are doing  On that same note, I am not affiliated with any political party, but I still vote.

 

I love stories and movies.  I watch at least one movie a day when I can because I just love them.  I fell in love with movies as a kid and used to ditch class on Fridays to go catch the premieres of some of the big blockbusters of the late 80’s and early 90’s.  Getting to work on films has been on the biggest highlights and best things I have ever done in my life.  In the future, I hope to write, produce and act in at least one film and get my SAG card  when I get moved and settled in back in New Mexico.

 

I read on average 2-3 books a week. Some of them fiction, some of them non-fiction.  I love stories and find so much inspiration in them, much like I do the movies.

 

I don’t believe in organized religion, but rather a great spirit or energy that rules  supreme.  I self identify myself as a pagan and I celebrate Samhain, Yule, Beltane and Midsummer.  I don’t really care what religion you are either as long as you do not try to recruit me.  That shit pisses me off.

 

These are just a few of my things that I don’t normally share with others.

 

Do you have a thing that you normally wouldn’t share or want other people to know about?

 

I believe that we all have our things, our strange and odd idiosyncrasies or beliefs or life experiences that we just are not comfortable sharing and I totally understand.  I think we keep some things to ourselves because we are afraid of being judged or that maybe people just won’t like us.  That fear is a mighty powerful one too, the fear of not being liked.  I know that I have spent way too much time in my life worrying about what other people think and acting in a way that I thought would make me more likable and less weird.

 

Somehow though, I’ve gotten to this point where I just don’t give a shit whether people like me or not.  Either they do or they do not.  Other people don’t live my life and whether they like me or not is my problem.  I like me.  I am comfortable enough in my own skin to be myself.  I am tired of hiding who I am just to please other people.

 

That’s the last of my ‘things’!

 

So what’s your thing?

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A Kali Kind of Mood

I’m in a Kali kind of mood today.

 

I spent part of the morning writing and then I took a break to clean out several more bins and organize them for the big move west at the end of September.  While sorting out a bunch of crap, I found all of these old bills and what not that I have no plan on keeping, but when I found them, I had no idea what to do with them.  Miraculously, my shredder appeared and the party was on!

 

Shred those fuckers and make your own packing material for your move!

 

I swear that I heard Kali whispering in my ear at the time.

 

So who is Kali and why should you care about her?

 

Well, she’s a Hindu Goddess.  The Goddess of Empowerment, Time, Black night, destruction and creation. She’s Shiva’s lover and consort. Want to learn more about her? Well, let me introduce you to my friend  W.I. Kipedia.  He’s my best friend when I want to learn about shit.

 

Anyway…Kali is one of those goddesses. Super powerful, strong and not to be fucked with. She also destroys and creates shit.  You gotta love that!!

 

That’s the kind of mood I am in today.  A total Kali mood that’s both destructive and creative. I also don’t want to be fucked with today. I destroyed my old bills and created packing material for the move.  Somehow, this act has become symbolic for what’s going on right now in my life. I’ve been tearing down my old life here in Massachusetts one box and bin at a time in preparation for a new life that awaits me back in New Mexico.

 

Do I have it all planned out?

No

But I have a plan

 

Now, I swear that Kali is sitting somewhere in her goddess realm completely proud of me for what I’ve been accomplishing the last few weeks.

 

Before creation there must be destruction.  An ending of the old ways. A clearing out of the past, physical, mental and emotional.

 

We’ve been taught to fear change when we really shouldn’t.  Change is a good thing.  Sometimes we have to destroy the old to make room for the new.

 

If you find yourself afraid of change, just sit with it a while.

 

What is it that you really fear?

Is it the actual change?

Maybe that you fear how people will react to the change you made.

Do you feel that if you change, maybe you will lose some crucial part of who you are? Your identity on some level?

 

While I’ve been cleaning, I’ve been discovering that part of me was afraid that by giving away things from my past, that I would be dishonoring the memories of the fabulous, albeit somewhat crazy life I have led,  and therefore myself. Like I needed to keep these things around me to remind me who I am, what I’ve done and where I’ve been..

 

And then I realized that it wasn’t true.

 

I am still me with or without those things. Still whole, still beautiful, still amazing, still funny and still crazy..

 

The things are just things.  They are not me…..

 

Just as your things are not you.  You are you!

 

And you are fabulous and amazing and wonderful too!

 

You don’t need things to be who you are or to remember the life you’ve led. You just need you.

 

So find your Kali and let her help you if you feel afraid of changing your life for the better by destroying the old to let in room for the new!

 

XOXO

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Get That Hamster Off the Wheel!

Get that hamster off the wheel!

 

I’ve got so much on my mind lately that it’s hard to keep up. I don’t know who gave that hamster in my brain super powers, but I wish they hadn’t.

 

Anyway…This is how it goes.  My mind.  My thoughts. The hamster who’s all supercharged. (Fear, worry, anxiety maybe?)

 

My mind is riddled and scrambled and racing, and  I’m thinking of all of these things all at once in no particular order:

You have an inspection today. What do you think she’s going to do?

Or find?

Will she be nice or rude or happy or mean?

What will you do?

Did you clean the house up enough? What will she think of that?

What if she judges you?  Will she make a funny face and purse her lips like a mean old lady?

Or stare at you with scorn and disgust?

Maybe she will think you are a loser because you are home and not at a traditional job.

What are you going to do when she leaves?

Are you going to work?

Write a blog?

Read something new and do some research?

Update your websites?

Maybe you should pick up the house.

Finish the de-cluttering project and really clean.

Cause you’re moving in September? Or maybe October?

Don’t you wonder what your house in New Mexico will be like since your brother has been living in it?

Your dad says it’s trashed.

Do you wonder what that means?

How trashed could it be?

Worse than when you bought it?

And why the fuck won’t he just get out of it?  Him and his roommate.

Why don’t they just leave especially since they trashed the house and don’t pay rent.

And don’t forget about next Monday.  You have an appointment. Maybe it’s on Tuesday.

You better check the paperwork again and write it down on a post-it, put it in your phone and calendar.

Did you check your sales?

Maybe you need to update your sales page….and write another one and ?

UGH!!

 

I wish my mind would fucking shut up already, calm down and be at peace!

 

Sound familiar, anyone?

Does your mind ever race and turn and burn and doesn’t want to stop?

 

You know, if you believe or have practiced the Law of Attraction, you realize that your thoughts are things so you better be mindful of them.  I try to stay very conscious of my thoughts and when they get away from me like they are this morning, I have to do something to reel them in, comfort them and slow them down.

One of the things that I know for sure today is that I absolutely need to do some sort of meditation.  I am going to take  at least 5 minutes today (probably after the inspector leaves) and meditate. I will sit, quietly here at my desk, listening to one of my guided meditations and to coax that hamster in my mind off of her wheel.

 

I know you are thinking, c’mon Tobi, does that shit really work?

 

Yes, it does.  You have to commit to it and do it, but it absolutely works.  You don’t have to sit in Lotus position and chant Om while staring at a candle or guru.  You can sit quietly anywhere like at your desk or on your couch.  You can use a meditation track or listen to music, something that calms and soothes your soul. You don’t have to meditate for hours on end, but just for a few minutes.

 

You gotta meditate with a way that works for you.

 

Let me share a story from my past.

 

I used to go to these meditation classes years ago cause I wanted to try it.  Now, in the class, we would sit on the floor and get into Lotus position or sit with our legs crossed.  You could sit on a pillow or not. Most people there didn’t and I wanted to be like them, so I didn’t use my cushion.  Then the leader started talking us into the meditation while some really funky sitar music played.  Now I love the sitar, but in this particular situation, it was not relaxing for me.  Being in Lotus position wasn’t relaxing for me either.

 

So the whole time at this class, I was sitting and trying to calm my mind, clear my mind and  reach enlightenment, but it just wasn’t happening. I could not find my zen or calm. At some point, my back started to twitch. My legs went numb. I got a headache.  I never really felt relaxed or found nirvana.  We sat for one hour. I remember feeling really disappointed and feeling as if I was a failure at meditation because I had such an unpleasant experience. When I left the class (never to return),  I figured I needed to be something else in order to do meditation like the pros. I also didn’t start practicing meditation again until recently.

 

So here’s my take on meditation today even after having my previous experience. Meditation just means to to spend time in quiet thought for religious purposes or relaxation. You don’t have to be in a funky position or sitting for hours. You don’t have to sit on the floor. You don’t have to chant.  You don’t have to listen to funky sitar music (unless you really dig funky sitar music and it calms your soul).

 

So, try it…  Do some meditation with me and we’ll call our crazy mind hamsters even if it’s just for 5 minutes today (or 2 or 20 or 60)  Whatever works for you.

 
 

Talk to you soon! I’m off to do my meditation and get that hamster off of her wheel.

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Get Off Your Ass and Adjust Your Sails

We cannot control the wind, but we can adjust our sails. 

~ Dolly Parton

I don’t know why that quote is on my mind today, but it is so I had to write about it.

 

So exactly what does it mean?

 

For me, it means that you cannot control things outside of yourself. Oh, you can try. You can try with all of your might, but you just can’t control everything.

 

For the obvious, there is the wind (duh) and the weather, the color of the sky, traffic lights, prices of stuff and what not.  For the non-obvious, there is people.  Other people.  How they behave.  What they do. How they treat us. Another non-obvious thing would be stuff that just happens…like you wreck your car, you win the lottery, you get a summons to appear in court, your lover proposes to you and a variety of other things that happen.

 

The point is that we are really only in control of ourselves. We cannot control the wind.

 

So how do we cope?  What do we do when something from outside of us disrupts our lives?

 

We adjust our sails.

 

We live and cope and thrive by adjusting our fucking sails.

 

Act!  Don’t react….Act!  Get into action and …..

 

Get Off Your Ass and Adjust Your Fucking Sails!

 

It’s up to you to pilot your boat and your life.  Not me.  Not your wife or your husband.  Not your kids. Not your parents. Not your boss. Not your landlord. Not anyone.

 

YOU….

 

When life throws you a gale wind and torrential rains, you have to adjust your sails. 

 

When it’s perfectly sunny and there is no wind, you have to adjust your sails.

 

My life threw me one hell of a storm earlier this week. The kind of storm that capsizes boats and people drown and die. I could see it on the horizon for months, and I adjusted my sails and got into action to flee that storm.  Sadly, my efforts just weren’t enough and my happy little boat of joy and happiness was rocked and tossed from side-to-side by that ugly storm. It was beyond scary….

 

But I didn’t just sit there and wait for my boat to flip and sink.

 

I got out there and I adjusted my sails.  Hell, I am still adjusting them now even though I’ve made it to some really calm water for the time being though it’s still pouring rain.   I am still adjusting my sails and probably will be for a while.

 

And that’s ok.

 

Life isn’t always sunshine and smooth sailing. Life can be like a breeze or a gale. No matter what though, you’ve always got to adjust your sails!

 

Thanks for reading!  I’ve gotta go adjust my sails again!

xoxox

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Big Plans, Big Launch, Big Fears?

I’ve been up since 3 AM.  Yep, you read that right. Three O’fucking clock in the morning.

 

I didn’t go back to sleep cause I couldn’t.  I had to start working.

 

Writing, building, editing, creating… It’s taken over my brain and my life.

 

I have big plans for this ecourse, Color Your Dream.  And right now I’m in action, getting all the happy parts and activities written so that you, my dear reader, can join me on this crazy happy fun and color filled journey.

 

It’s so much fun, but I needed a break to get something off of my chest.

 

Launching this course is BIG deal to me.  A really big deal.  And there it is. This ecourse means a lot to me.  I want people to like it.  I want them to like me. I want to share it with as many people as I can and to help as many people as I can.  Writing it up has been a joy and a pleasure and I cannot remember the last time I ever gave myself so completely and worked so ‘hard’ at something. I’m having the time of  my life, all wrapped up creating it and I’m having a good time….

 

And then it strikes me.

 

It sneaks in like a thief in the night.

Grasping.

Silencing me.

I feel it creep into my solar plexus.  My shoulders tighten up. My stomach grumbles.

 

My big fears start to creep in and decide to throw a party when I’m not looking.  Fuckers didn’t even invite me!  Hrrmmph……

I have to silence them before they get out of control.

 

So the ‘what if’s’ they show up first to the party and flood my brain with thoughts like….

 

What if people don’t like me? What if they don’t like my website? What if they don’t like my ecourse?  What if they don’t buy it?  What if….what if…what if?

 

and then the ‘I should’s’ take over. They piss me off with thoughts like..

I should probably change the course.  I should write more, edit more, make it fancier, make it more complicated.  Maybe I should wait and do more research and …  Maybe I should just give up cause this is silly and stupid and…..

REALLY?  What a load of shit!!!

 

Finally, the OMG’s, the late arrivals to the party.  They are the worst of the party crashers!

 

OMG, what in the fuck am I doing?  OMG, have I lost my mind?  OMG, do I even know what the hell it is that I am doing?  OMG, how do I do this?  OMG, I haven’t a damn clue what I am doing.

 

SO…it’s time to deal with these guys, these fears.  I’m crashing their party, calling the cops and kicking them out.

Now, it’s normal to have fear. It’s ok to have fear.  It’s not ok though, to let them control your life and  stop you dead in your tracks. (and throw a party and not invite you!! ha ha)

 

I’m digging in my toolbox and starting with EFT (emotional freedom techniques) and tapping.

 

Next thing out of the toolbox will be a short meditation to quiet my mind.

 

And last, I will do some yoga later….and that will be that!

Bye Bye, Fears!






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Some Thoughts About Fear From a Super Bok-Bok Chicken

Did you see the size of that chicken?

No really!  Did you?

Probably not, but I am the chicken.  The super big bok bok chicken that is bopping around a big field with no reason or purpose, squawking away at things I need to get done, but am putting off and procrastinating.

So why does this happen?  How can I go from being super confident and productive to being a bok bok super chicken?

One word:

FEAR

Yep.

I said it.

I’ll say it again.

FEAR

I freaking hate it when I get fearful cause really, most of the time whatever I am afraid of usually isn’t even anything real like gun to my head or a lion chasing me.  Seriously!

Fear paralyzes me.  Fear distracts me.  Fear turns me into a big fat bok bok chicken who scurries away and doesn’t get the things that need to get done, done….and I can be really good at being a chicken.

So mm…how do I deal with my fear? How do I feel my fear and still get shit done?

Well, first of all, I acknowledge it.  I say “Hello, Fear.  How are you today? I hope you are doing fine.” Then I offer it a cup of tea.

Then, I let myself feel it.  Like really feel it in my skin and bones.  I let it hang out a while.  I know that people will say that fear should be banished, but I don’t think it does.  I believe we need to give ourselves permission to feel it and let it be. It’s part of who we are. Eventually, using love, kindness and dream energized action, I ask it to leave once it’s sat down and had it’s cup of tea.

The next part of dealing with fear involves action.  Dream energized action. I move forward and get to work.  I get into dream energized action. I start doing stuff that is inspired by my dream created life. Some of the things I do are small things.  Some are more monumental. The point is that I get into action and I do something!! It may seem forced at first, but eventually the fear lessens and  dissipates like fog does in the sun. I always feel so good when that happens and I swear, it gets easier each time to move forward and get shit done despite feeling fear.

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Jump into dream energized action!

For me, my dream energized action takes different shapes. Sometimes that means spending an hour or two writing a blog or working on my book.  Last week, despite a shitload of fear and many bok bok super chicken moments, I wrote a bunch of emails to people I wanted to interview for my latest article.  Other times, I reach out and ask for help and support in one of the forums I belong to.

The point is, it’s ok to have fear and  be a bok bok chicken for a moment.  Fear shows up in all of our lives, it hangs around and keeps us from getting shit done.  If you allow it to just chill for time with a bit of permission,  it will leave once you’ve chosen to jump into dream inspired action.

So if you are feeling like a super bok bok chicken, don’t fret!  It’s only temporary!  Find something, even ONE thing that you can work on today with dream energized action.






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