I Do Not Control The Universe

No, I do not control the universe!!

*But damn I wish I did!


aka: What I learned from a leaky roof this morning

So this morning I woke up to the lovely sound of rain, pitter patting on the roof and the windows. Rain here in the desert is so rare and delicious and I was very happy to wake up to that sound. Since it’s fall, it was a bit chilly so I made myself a lovely cup of coffee and sat down to get started writing and creating since that’s what I do.


Then I heard it.


Water….dripping, loudly from somewhere in the house.


Drip, drip, drip…….drip….drip, drip…….


I thought maybe I didn’t turn off the faucet in the kitchen or bathroom cause I do that sometimes. (I have no shame!!)


Now the rain was pouring down at this point and the dripping was getting louder.


At first I thought I was imagining that sound, that maybe I was going crazy so I went on a mission. No fucking way was I imagining it! I had to find where the dripping water was coming from!!


Then I found it!


It was dripping down from the ceiling in the middle bedroom!!!


I had another one of my ‘WHAT THE FUCK!!???’ moments. (I have these nearly everyday since I’ve moved back to New Mexico, btw)


So…oh, no…oh yes, oh no….What the fuck!!!???


The truth of the situation then dawned on me like a 2 x 4 to the head: my roof has a leak and of course, I have no ladders with which to climb into the attic and assess the damage.


I could feel my anger rising in my blood.


How and why was this not taken care of and why am I having to deal with it now?


Because I do.


I am here. This is my house and I have to deal with it.


I wanted to scream and yell. Shake my fist at my brother, the rain, the leak, the water dripping from the ceiling…


Then I had this urge to cry and sob because I can’t wave a magic wand and fix it instantly….




I do not control the Universe, therefore, I do not control the weather or the roof or anything really.


BUT I can control how I react. I can, by golly, control that!!


So I made an executive decision that in lieu of climbing in the attic, I would get out ‘Mojlnir’, my trusted hammer and assess the damage and leak from inside the house. I started to hit the ceiling with Mojlnir and tear down what I could of the wet and dripping drywall.  I was thinking that at some point I was going to get hit with a flood of water and dry wall and who knows what else.   Thankfully, that didn’t happen though I did put one hell of a hole in the ceiling.  It turned out that the leak isn’t as bad as I imagined in my head. Most things aren’t as bad as we imagine them in our heads, right?


Putting that huge hole also helped to demo the portion of the ceiling that was 1. already damaged from before and 2. has to be replaced anyway.


The rain stopped shortly after I did my demolition and now I’m making green chile stew for lunch. It’s a beautiful thing!


So what’s the lesson here?


1. We cannot control the Universe
2. We can, however, control how we react to things
3. Things are not usually as bad as they seem



2 thoughts on “I Do Not Control The Universe

  1. So true! I really enjoyed this. I love the image of you banging away at the ceiling with your hammer. I bet that felt good. I also had an experience yesterday that could have caused me to freak out, but somehow I accepted it and hoped for the best. I lost my keys on the way to pick up my daughter from school and didn’t realize it until hours later when we got home and were locked out. After many trips back and forth to the school to search for them, to no avail, my husband found them later in the yard. I was so happy because I’ve had the keychain for over 30 years, since I was a child. (!) It says LOVE on one side and Give the World a Little Love Today on the other. 🙂

    • Yes, it DID feel good to bang away at the ceiling even and it was a sight! Dry wall and insulation started to fall on my head…but there was not a deluge of water! SO glad you found your keys too. When stuff like this happens, it reminds us how little we control around us. All we can control is ourselves 🙂 (and our hammer hahahah)

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *