For the past few months, both my professional and personal life has been growing and expanding at such a fast rate that the rest of my life needs to catch up or at least meet me half way.
See, since I decided a few years ago not to return to my previous career or get another traditional job, I have felt more alive and happier than I have ever been. I am feeling more connected to my life and I’m look forward to this phase of growth and learning and expanding and writing. It’s a good life and I’m excited for the next chapter.
Now with this wonderful feeling of freedom and openness and excitement, I’ve been experiencing something else as well: The feeling of disconnection to other things, most notably some of my friendships. My friends and some of my family do not understand why I would choose to go out into the scary unknown and open a business or try to make money in a non-traditional way. I understand that what I do makes no sense to them and that is ok. It’s not for them to understand because it’s not their life. It’s mine and mine alone.
I read in a bunch of books that as we change and our lives change, the people around us may respond in a variety of different ways. While some are supportive, others may not be as much so what I am feeling is normal, but it still doesn’t make it hurt any less. I don’t like to let things go, especially people. Even when they are not good for me or the joy of the friendship is gone, I don’t like to end relationships. I want to hold on and keep people in my life forever because my people are precious to me.
Lately though, I have found myself evaluating some of my friendships and questioning them. Most of them I simply do not feel connected to anymore. It’s like I moved far away, but not in the physical sense. I’ve moved on emotionally and mentally and even on some levels, spiritually. I also know that to move forward in this next phase of my evolution, I will have to end some of these friendships though it pains me to have to do that.
Letting go is never easy.