I had planned to write a different kind of blog today, but what happened to me in the past 24 hours was just so profound that I had to share.
Life is precious.
I’ve been living in this condo for about four years now. Four years. When I first moved in, I met one of my neighbors and became friends with her. Not good friends, but somewhat friends. We’d hang out sometimes and she’d call me or come over, sometimes uninvited. I became so frustrated by her behavior though, I decided to end our friendship. I quit answering her calls or my door when she’d ring.
See, my neighbor was a drunk. A lonely, angry drunk. I didn’t want to be around her because of her behavior and negativity. She was hurt by my actions and at one point, came over to my house in the middle of the night, drunk and demanding to know why I wouldn’t be her friend anymore. I told her to go home and get sober.
For the past 3 years, other various things have happened between us even though we didn’t speak. Those details aren’t important to this story.
What is important is what happened recently.
About two months ago, I read Denise Duffield-Thomas’ Book, Get Rich Lucky Bitch! And started to do some of the activities in it like the decluttering forgiveness exercise. In the book, Denise says to use this technique to help declutter your money story. When you declutter and forgive things or people from your past, you heal your spirit and soul. The best part is that by doing this, you make room in your life, mind and heart for new happier things to show up.
Now I took it a step further and decided to declutter my entire story, not just my money story. I’ve painstakingly written out everyone and everything that has upset me or hurt me in the past 30 years and then forgave every single thing on the list.
So what does that have to do with my neighbor? Well she was on my list and I forgave her in private. Then just a few weeks ago when she learned that I was moving, she called me. I have not spoken to her at length in years, but I figured the Universe was giving me an opportunity to forgive her in person from a place of peace, love and compassion which is what I did. I forgave her. Now if you had told me 3 years ago that I would forgive her, I’d have told you you were crazy….But anyway…..
Last Friday, she invited me over to chat about my upcoming move and New Mexico. She said she’d never been there. She was telling me that she wasn’t drinking anymore and she was looking forward to losing weight. I told her I was proud of her for not drinking and for making improvements to her life. We hugged and she told me to keep in touch when I moved.
That was Friday.
Yesterday, my other neighbor called and asked me when the last time I talked to her was. I said Friday. He then informed me that she was in the hospital on life support and that her family was going to take her off of it. I was shocked. Life support? What?
Then she died yesterday.
I had just seen her and even though we were not close, I still feel the impact of the loss.
Our lives are precious. So very very precious and fragile.
Sometimes I think we forget how precious our lives are. Everyday, we make choices about our life. Choices that may not seem to have any impact on our lives, but do. Everyday with every choice, we either chose life or death. Happiness or sadness.
So what do we choose?
How do we live?
How do we treat ourselves and others?
Do we treat ourselves and other with love and compassion, or hate and contempt?
What do we choose?
When I think about my neighbor that just passed away, I look at how she chose to live her life. What choices she made throughout her life which subsequently led to her premature death. Thinking about her and her life has me now examining my life. What I choose and how I live.
Everything is a choice.
Our life is a choice.
Life is precious.
What are you going to choose?