The First Agreement and My Life as a Reformed Gossip

I really should have started this thread of posts with the 1st agreement, but I didn’t.

Impeccable With Your Word
Agreement #1: Be Impeccable With Your Word

The First Agreement:

Be Impeccable With Your Word.

What DOES that mean exactly?

You know, I remember the first time I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz back in 2004. The first agreement was a doozy for me. It was like someone throat punched me and kicked my legs out from underneath me at the same time. Ouch!!! I think I read that chapter a hundred times because it really hit home and teased me take a good hard look at myself while making me very uncomfortable at the same time.

It is by far been the most challenging of the four agreements for me to keep.

¬†Why? Because I like to talk. A lot. In fact, I can’t stop talking sometimes. I want people to listen to me and give a shit about what I am saying. I want them to agree with me. I want them to care about me and love me. I want to be heard.And I’ve been known to gossip. In fact, gossiping has gotten me in more trouble throughout the years than I care to remember. Like in elementary school, I used to sit with my best friend at recess and we would talk about what so-and-so did or said or what they were wearing. Sometimes we would make fun of people. We thought we were so cool. Or in middle school when I would learn a secret about who liked what boy and I would tell his friend so he would definitely find out.

Over the years in various jobs, I couldn’t keep my fucking mouth shut ever. If my boss pissed me off or did something stupid, I would run my mouth by telling someone, usually a co-worker or my friends about whatever travesty/trauma I had suffered at the hands of said boss. If a co-worker was getting on my nerves, I would whine about it to someone (usually the boss who had pissed me off the day before). I was always talking and not listening to those around me.

Anyway… You get the drift. I am a talker. A gossip. A complete asshole sometimes. Not all the time, mind you, but some of the time. Today I consider myself a mostly reformed gossip.

See, I read The Four Agreements and that first one really was like a fork in my eye! Ouch! That hurt, but secretly I knew this agreement quite intimately, yet I violated and broke this agreement nearly daily.

Being impeccable with your word is so fucking important! When we speak without thinking, ouch! Watch out world! A lot of hurt feelings and damage can be avoided by just being impeccable with our word. When we talk, our words have power. They have the power to heal and the power to hurt. Each word has it’s own vibration just as every thought has it’s own vibration.

And how we say the words, they have power too. Talking just for the hell of it isn’t a good idea. You end up saying shit you didn’t mean to say and once it’s out there, it’s out there. You can’t take it back. For example, have you ever gotten into an argument with someone and said something so awful, but once you said it, your relationship with that person was changed forever? Or maybe you told someone you loved and cared for them, but you really didn’t. See….ouch. I want to cry when I read that.

I also still struggle with this agreement to this day.

Choose yourself
Choose Yourself! ~James Altucher

Recently, I read this other book mind blowing book, Choose Yourself by James Altucher and in it, James talks about talking. How he practices silence because he doesn’t “learn when he (we) is (are) talking. We only learn when we are listening.” It’s a good practice, silence. Speaking only when necessary. Being impeccable with one’s word.

I’m still learning to be impeccable with my word. Everyday, I try to be mindful of what I am saying and to whom. I have become very aware of what tone I am using and what words I choose to speak. Even when it comes to myself ,I am learning to ‘speak’ gently and kindly to myself cause it all comes down to

Being Impeccable with Your Word