Not My Circus, Not My Monkeys

 

So here’s what happened to me yesterday.  I’ve been talking to many moving companies because I am sure as shit not driving some big assed truck with five cats and towing my cart 2300 miles.  I am  strong independent woman, but I do have my limits and this is one of them.

 

Anyway, one of the salesmen I talked to was this really nice guy.  You know how sometimes when you talk to some salesmen it’s like, ugh….get me off the phone like now….but then there are the ones that are so friendly and helpful and you like them (more on that later) so you want to hire them. Well anyway….over a period of a week, I called him with questions about my move.

 

Now, one of the times I called him, he picked up the phone and had been yelling at someone.  I was really in shock and a bit concerned for the guy.  I wondered who he was yelling at.  Maybe his co-worker  (I’ve actually done that and had a customer hear me so it would not surprise me)  Maybe the dog or the cat.  Maybe the postman.

 

We chatted briefly and then hung up.  Of course I was wondering what the fuck was going on because I hate to hear when people are yelling, upset or angry.

 

So the next day he calls me back to apologize for what had happened.  Then he proceeds to tell me all about his wife.  His wife doesn’t trust him because she’s had other men in her past that were not nice to her.  I understand this as well having been in some bad relationships. I tell him that it’s not him she is mad at, but the other men and herself for making bad choices. While on the phone, I listened and prayed for both of them (Hey, pagans can pray!).  I don’t like to hear of anyone being sad or feeling lousy or any of that, so I prayed.

 

And I figured that was the end of that, or so I thought.  I hadn’t heard from him in over a week and since I haven’t hired my moving company yet, I had no reason to talk to him or any of the other salesmen.

 

Well it wasn’t the end of it.  Sunday I received a weird text from an unknown number.  I ignored it.  Yesterday I got another text from the same number demanding to know if I am Tobi.  I responded with a yes, who are you?  Now….her response was so-and-so’s wife. “Do you have anything you’d like to tell me?”

 

My response was “What are you talking about? Nice to meet you!” Now I don’t know this woman or her husband, but obviously she made some sort of odd connection and assumed that I am up to something devious that involves her husband.

 

Anyway…to make a long story short, when this started to happen, I called him to let him know his wife was texting me and that I did not appreciate it.  Well, they were in the middle of a screaming match when he picked up.  I even offered to talk to her to let her know that I am just a potential customer and that I have no interest in her man.

 

OYE….was I not prepared for what happened when she picked up.  No shit, this is what she said:

 

“I don’t know who the fuck you are or what the fuck you are trying to do with my husband, but you better not ever fucking call this number again, ever.  Do you hear me? You better leave my fucking husband alone or I will….”

 

Then it thankfully cut out.

 

Now, of course what she said completely freaked me out and I was taken aback a bit, but then it made me realize something.

 

I am not responsible for her or her feelings.  Whatever is going on with her and her husband, it’s not my business.  I feel bad for her on some level cause I have felt and behaved nearly as she did yesterday, screaming and yelling because she assumes there is something hinky going on with her husband and me. The truth does not matter.

 

But…really, she is not my problem.

 

The Polish have a saying. 

“Not my circus, Not my monkeys”

 

I think that applies beautifully to this situation, don’t you?

 

I can only control my own behavior and emotions.

 

So the takeaway from this…

YOU are responsible for you.

Not other people.

Even if you want to be and try to be

Even if they yell at you and you want to fix it.

Even if they are friendly and nice and kind.

You are not responsible for them.

Or their emotions

Or their behavior.

Just you.

and your emotions

and your behaviors.

Have a beautiful day with your own circus and monkeys  😉

 

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