Oh the horror!
I’ve recently just discovered that someone I have known for years has unfriended and blocked me on social media! Of course, this was after I told her a few weeks ago that I don’t consider her a friend and haven’t for a while.
OK ..now what?
Woo hoo….Rejoice and be happy!
Because this person obviously isn’t and hasn’t been much of a friend or part of my life for a long time.
And then I saw what had really happened here.
In the spirit of all of this decluttering and cleaning that I have been doing recently, I have been realizing a few things about some of my past friendships and people I used to consider friends. People that once upon a time, I liked and cared about. People that I used to look up to.
Over the past few years, I have had to walk away from several of them because on my quest to be myself, unfiltered, unapologetic, wonderful and beautiful self, I have found that many of them had not been acting like friends should in my opinion. In fact, I would have to say that many of these so-called friends did not act much like friends at all. They were behaving as frenemies.
You know what I’m talking about. We’ve all had frenemies of one kind or another. They are the ones who pretend to be your friends, but really couldn’t give a fucking fuck about you, your life, your business or pretty much anything about you. They call and connect when it’s convenient. They will hang up on you accidentally and not call back for weeks. They only talk about themselves and whatever is going on with them. When you need them or call them, they are like a fart in the wind, gone in an instant.
I, of course, kept trying to keep the friendships with these frenemies going even though I didn’t like many of them.
I know, I know. Sounds crazy, but it’s what I used to do. Hold on for dear life to these people and hope that in the future, they would start acting like the people that I wanted them to be or as they had been in the past.
Dammit! What a waste of my time…..
But that was then, this is now….
My filter is gone, my give-a-fuck meter is broken
And I refuse to settle for frenemies.
So what’s the lesson here?
You can’t change people. You can’t hope and wish and pray that they will change into who you want them to be like. You either accept them as is or move on. I’m choosing move on more and more these days. Call it the Great Culling of Fake Friends and Frenemies.
It’s ok to want to be treated with love and kindness and be surrounded by people who support you and think you are a fabulous.
You don’t have to stay friends with anyone that doesn’t make you feel good or makes you feel bad or treats you badly (this goes for romantic relationships too)
It’s ok to walk away and leave failed friendships behind, either with or without a confrontation. It’s your life and you deserve to be happy and feel good
It’s ok to be a little sad when one of them walks away or you walk away. Just don’t ruminate on it and go find some new friends.
You are wonderful and special and your friends should treat you as such.
Don’t settle for fake friends or frenemies.
You deserve only the best in life and friends!