Have you ever had your emotions runaway from you? One day, everything is fine and you’re feeling great and then boom! Suddenly its like WTF just happened? Now I feel ….ugh….
Seriously, WTF just happened?
Here’s the deal: When something upsets us and if you’re like me and you’ve been practicing the Law of Attraction, it’s very easy to want to try to shove or banish those types of emotions away. You can’t though and let me explain why.
So the past few weeks have been a gentle reminder for me to feel all my emotions. Usually I feel good about everything in my life and I run around in a state of joy and happiness no matter what the situation.
Last week was not the case. My boyfriend and I found ourselves in a situation which was completely out of our control. See, normally money just magically appears in his bank account at the end of his pay period. It’s been like that for months and well, that’s what happens.
Well he switched jobs and the new one didn’t offer direct deposit, but rather a pay card where his money would be on payday. Now we didn’t think anything about this at all at the time because we assumed (don’t make assumptions) it would be easy for him to transfer the funds to his bank account on payday.
Boy were we wrong. Turns out transferring money or even getting the money off the card ended up being a veritable nightmare. I won’t go into details here, but it was bad. Really terrible.
Some things are out of our control
Now, during this whole event, I started to feel really angry not just at the company who was holding his money hostage, but the company he works for. One day last week I was so nauseous that I couldn’t even eat. Another day I had a migraine.
I sometimes have a really hard time expressing how I feel when I’m angry or upset. I don’t like to bring down anyone by sharing these emotions with anyone. As a result of holding back, I was starting to manifest physical symptoms that were bringing me to my knees.
It wasn’t until earlier this week I realized what was going on and decided to do something about it.
So here’s the deal when you have low vibrating emotions such as anger, fear, and frustration,(aka the runaways.)
How to Handle Your Runaway Emotions
Shake your fists, cry, or talk to someone such as a friend. Don’t stuff them away and try to be happy when you’re clearly not!
Find a way to express your emotions in a way which isn’t destructive or harmful to yourself or others. Write them down or write a letter to the thing that’s really upset you. Sometimes I sit down and write out everything that’s pissed me off about the situation or I write a letter to it. Then I burn the letter.
Yeah, the less woo-woo guru is advocating meditation, but it’s not what you think. If you can take one minute during any sort of emotional episode and reconnect with yourself by just sitting down, closing you eyes and breathing deeply for about a minute, you’ll amazingly feel better.
Know That They Will Pass.
Our feelings are like the tide in a constant state of ebb and flow. Be patient and let them do just that, flow through you like a river. I always find this concept very comforting to me .
Find Five Good Things
Look around in your environment or life and find five good things, right now no matter what you are feeling. If you can do that, you’ll instantly raise your vibration and possibly feel better.
Of all the things on the list, finding five good things is my fave. I love it so much that I’ve written an upcoming book about it because it has single-handedly changed my life so much. If you’d like to learn more about the book and get a free copy when it comes out, SIGN UP BELOW for my mailing list.
Also, I have a free group on FaceBook which you are most welcome to join.
One thing I love about my job (ha ha….it’s too much fun to call a job!) is getting to connect with amazing and wonderful women like the lady featured in today’s interview. Her name is Heather Ash and she’s the owner and creator of Happiness Mama. I love love love what she does because I truly believe that the world needs happy mamas cause a happy mama equals happy kids, husband and family!
Sure! Happiness Mama is my blog, where I write about intentionally creating a happier life. My readers are mamas who want to be the best mothers they can be, while also nurturing themselves and making their happiness a priority. That also helps everyone in the family be happier and sets a great example for their children to take good care of themselves, too. It’s a win-win situation. I also enjoy writing about mindfulness,self care,creativity, habits, and productivity.
Happiness Mama is also the online home of my coaching practice. As a Mama Bliss Coach, I support mindful mamas in three main ways. I help them refocus on their happiness and strengthen the four pillars of mama bliss, which are self care,creativity, values, and simplicity. I also work with creative moms to find clarity around their desires and next steps, create a workable plan,and take action to make their dreams and goals a reality. And I also enjoy working with clients to enhance their time management skills and live more intentionally they can make the most of the precious time they have.
What is your background?
I have a Bachelor’s degree in French and a Masters in Education. I was a high school ESL/English teacher for almost 9 years. Becoming a mother was a transformation experience form in so many ways. I love mothering my two daughters, and I’ve experienced being a stay-at-home-mom, a work outside the home mom, and working part-time from home on my own business, which is what I do now.
My life changed when I became a mother. I really wanted to stay home with my children in the early years,and I realized I needed a flexible working situation. I thought about what I really wanted to do, and I considered options that involved working from home. I’ve always enjoyed expressing myself through writing,so I started reading and learning about blogging when my second daughter was a newborn.
I have a heart for other women, especially mamas, and I want to share what I’m learning and what I know so I can help others. After much reflection and exploration, I decided to focus on helping other mothers be happier. I’ve always loved reading and learning about personal growth and well being,and I also enjoy supporting and helping moms in various ways, so it’s perfect for me.
When browsing your site, I really love how you’ve blended happiness and mama. Moms in this day and age sure do need more happiness. Can you comment on that?
Yes, I feel like there are several factors at work here. Women in our culture are often isolated and have to make Herculean efforts to spend time with their extended family or friends. Families often live far apart, and friends may be across town, but even that can feel hard when you have a baby or young child. So real connection can be a challenge.
Second, women love their children so much, and since babies take so much of our time and energy, it’s easy to become almost completely focused on their well being. That’s normal, but mamas also need to make sure their own needs are being met. And like everything, it often takes practice to learn how to manage life well with children.
In some ways having subsequent children can be easier than having the first, because you know what to expect to some degree, and you’ve already made the huge transition of going from just being you, to having another human being to be responsible for. I know what it’s like to be completely immersed in taking care of my children, and I know what it’s like to be the primary caregiver for my children.
But I also know that I’m happier when I take time for myself and make sure my needs are being met, and I want that for other mothers, too. It’s definitely a balancing act, and it’s usually not balanced.
Also, often the women are still the primary caregivers, whether they’re staying at home or working outside the home. That’s another challenge.
And another factor is the busy age we live in. Kids are often involved in extracurricular activities, so many screens vy for our attention, and we’re surrounded by so much stuff that it’s hard to slow down and just BE,to just be still and enjoy simple moments. But it’s so important. And it is possible!
Who is your ideal client?
My ideal client is a mother who is smart, internet savvy, and loves to read and learn. She may be feeling a bit overwhelmed and stressed out, wanting to find herself again after being so completely immersed in caring for her children.
She is a mindful mama, meaning one who deeply cares about being the best mother she can be, with strongly held beliefs about the parent she wants to be, but she also realizes she needs to make her own happiness a priority, for her own sake and that of her family.
With her children getting a little bit older, she has a little more time for herself, and she is exploring options for her next steps.
She is creative… Perhaps she likes to write or journal, or do photography or art. Or all of the above!…although she hasn’t done as much as she would like since she had kids.
She would like some help with deciding what she really wants to do next in life, and could also use some support in both time management and getting her needs for self care and creative play met.
She would like more stillness in her life, more simplicity, and wants to make sure she is living into her values every day.
She enjoys setting goals and has dreams that she wants to explore more, and help with figuring out a road map to make those dreams come true.
What do you hope your clients get from working with you?
I want them to go from wherever they are now, to being empowered with the knowledge, skills, and support to create their happiest lives. I want them to have the joy of knowing they are truly living into their values. Want them to feel peace and joy.
What is your favorite or best client story?
I love when my clients tell me about the real results they’re getting from our work together. One of my clients is the mother of a toddler, and she balances her time between being a stay-at-home-mom, working part-time as a professor, and freelance writing. In her “spare time” she loves to write her own stories, essays, and poems. Recently she shared that working with me has helped her bring order to her creative process and plans. That made me feel great!
I also love when my clients go from feeling stressed to at peace. I often create customized guided meditations for my clients, and they really enjoy those. Guided meditation has been a new experience for many of them, and I love to hear their response afterwards. They say things like, “Wow! I feel great!” And that makes me happy.
Do you have anything else you’d like to add and share with my readers?
For mamas who would like to try meditation, I created a free How to Meditate: Quick Guide . One of my passions is helping mamas learn to give themselves the self care they need to thrive, and one of the most beneficial forms of self care is meditation. Even just five minutes a day can help you feel more calm, clear, and in tune with your true self.
At the moment I’m excited to offer totally free, no sales mini coaching sessions to give mamas a taste of what coaching with me is like. Interested mamas can learn more here.
I’ve got so much on my mind lately that it’s hard to keep up. I don’t know who gave that hamster in my brain super powers, but I wish they hadn’t.
Anyway…This is how it goes. My mind. My thoughts. The hamster who’s all supercharged. (Fear, worry, anxiety maybe?)
My mind is riddled and scrambled and racing, and I’m thinking of all of these things all at once in no particular order:
You have an inspection today. What do you think she’s going to do?
Will she be nice or rude or happy or mean?
What will you do?
Did you clean the house up enough? What will she think of that?
What if she judges you? Will she make a funny face and purse her lips like a mean old lady?
Or stare at you with scorn and disgust?
Maybe she will think you are a loser because you are home and not at a traditional job.
What are you going to do when she leaves?
Are you going to work?
Write a blog?
Read something new and do some research?
Update your websites?
Maybe you should pick up the house.
Finish the de-cluttering project and really clean.
Cause you’re moving in September? Or maybe October?
Don’t you wonder what your house in New Mexico will be like since your brother has been living in it?
Your dad says it’s trashed.
Do you wonder what that means?
How trashed could it be?
Worse than when you bought it?
And why the fuck won’t he just get out of it? Him and his roommate.
Why don’t they just leave especially since they trashed the house and don’t pay rent.
And don’t forget about next Monday. You have an appointment. Maybe it’s on Tuesday.
You better check the paperwork again and write it down on a post-it, put it in your phone and calendar.
Did you check your sales?
Maybe you need to update your sales page….and write another one and ?
I wish my mind would fucking shut up already, calm down and be at peace!
Sound familiar, anyone?
Does your mind ever race and turn and burn and doesn’t want to stop?
You know, if you believe or have practiced the Law of Attraction, you realize that your thoughts are things so you better be mindful of them. I try to stay very conscious of my thoughts and when they get away from me like they are this morning, I have to do something to reel them in, comfort them and slow them down.
One of the things that I know for sure today is that I absolutely need to do some sort of meditation. I am going to take at least 5 minutes today (probably after the inspector leaves) and meditate. I will sit, quietly here at my desk, listening to one of my guided meditations and to coax that hamster in my mind off of her wheel.
I know you are thinking, c’mon Tobi, does that shit really work?
Yes, it does. You have to commit to it and do it, but it absolutely works. You don’t have to sit in Lotus position and chant Om while staring at a candle or guru. You can sit quietly anywhere like at your desk or on your couch. You can use a meditation track or listen to music, something that calms and soothes your soul. You don’t have to meditate for hours on end, but just for a few minutes.
You gotta meditate with a way that works for you.
Let me share a story from my past.
I used to go to these meditation classes years ago cause I wanted to try it. Now, in the class, we would sit on the floor and get into Lotus position or sit with our legs crossed. You could sit on a pillow or not. Most people there didn’t and I wanted to be like them, so I didn’t use my cushion. Then the leader started talking us into the meditation while some really funky sitar music played. Now I love the sitar, but in this particular situation, it was not relaxing for me. Being in Lotus position wasn’t relaxing for me either.
So the whole time at this class, I was sitting and trying to calm my mind, clear my mind and reach enlightenment, but it just wasn’t happening. I could not find my zen or calm. At some point, my back started to twitch. My legs went numb. I got a headache. I never really felt relaxed or found nirvana. We sat for one hour. I remember feeling really disappointed and feeling as if I was a failure at meditation because I had such an unpleasant experience. When I left the class (never to return), I figured I needed to be something else in order to do meditation like the pros. I also didn’t start practicing meditation again until recently.
So here’s my take on meditation today even after having my previous experience. Meditation just means to to spend time in quiet thought for religious purposes or relaxation. You don’t have to be in a funky position or sitting for hours. You don’t have to sit on the floor. You don’t have to chant. You don’t have to listen to funky sitar music (unless you really dig funky sitar music and it calms your soul).
So, try it… Do some meditation with me and we’ll call our crazy mind hamsters even if it’s just for 5 minutes today (or 2 or 20 or 60) Whatever works for you.
Talk to you soon! I’m off to do my meditation and get that hamster off of her wheel.